Author: Deathangelgw

Author email: deathangelgw@gmail.com

Disclaimer: These charas are not mine. They belong to Ms. Constantine. No harm intended...much.

Warnings: AU, sap, some dark, some language, some angst.

Characters: Abrimel and Pell with a side of Cal and Caeru

Pairings: hinted Pellaz/Calanthe/Caeru and Abrimel/Ponclast

Rating: PG-13

Summary: With the hatching of Pell and Rue’s pearl, Pell now seeks to heal things with Abrimel. But is it possible after all of the bad blood that had passed between them?

Beta: As before, unbetaed. All mistakes are mine.

Spoilers: All six books.

A/N: Ok so I lied. Scar 'Verse isn't done...it's only just beginning! Cross posted to my LJ, raythoo LJ comm, and the Wraeththu Yahoo Group. Feedback is appreciated!

'thoughts'

Following the sound of laughter and a harling’s babble, Pellaz har Aralis went through the gardens surrounding Phaonica to the center. Once there, he stopped and just smiled at the scene before him. Caeru was with their sons, Abrimel and Lior, and he was watching as Abrimel played with his little brother. Caeru had chosen the name Lior for their harling since it meant ‘my light’. A fitting name for all that had come about with this harling’s hatching.

At the moment, Lior was crawling around and playing Hide ‘n Seek with Abrimel, who was laughing with Lior as he chased his little brother. It was a curious sight since the last time that either Pell or Caeru had seen their eldest son had been before he had left to be with Ponclast. The parting words had also been harsh to the point of making all hope of bridging the gap nearly impossible when he had told them that he hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. Pell wasn’t sure what had changed in Abrimel, but he was very glad that his son had taken him up on his offer to briefly return if only to be with Caeru and his new brother.

Pell just watched them play, delighting in their laughter and the simple joy that Lior seemed to bring to the elder hara around him. He felt his own heart calming from his busy day as he just watched his family. Slowly though, the play stopped and Abrimel murmured something to Caeru, who smiled and nodded before picking up Lior, who was observing them in curiosity. Pellaz watched in confusion as his consort left with their youngest from the garden, leaving Abrimel standing alone.

His confusion was shoved aside as Abrimel turned to him. He felt his heart drop as he saw the cold gaze focused on him and knew that things were still very torn between him and his firstborn. He went closer and stopped a few feet away, almost as if there was a shield between them constantly keeping them apart. They stared at each other and Pell had to wonder what was going through Abrimel's mind as the other har studied him wordlessly. He supposed he could push at his son's mind and find out what was brewing, but didn't dare. He had a feeling that that move would shatter the fragile peace that was standing between them.

Finally, Abrimel tilted his head, the cold gaze turning thoughtful, though the Tigron wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing. When his son spoke, it shattered the silence that had fallen between them. "So what did you do, Pell? Have a change of heart?"

Blinking, Pell stared at his son silently, which seemed to irritate Abrimel. His son scowled angrily and crossed his arms over his chest. "What? Don't you know? Did you roon Caeru into submission again? You couldn't hurt him enough so you had to heal him and give him Lior? Then what? Will you shun him again like you did with me?" he demanded, growing angrier by the second as Pell remained quiet.

"Why did you say yes?" Pell asked quietly instead of answering and it stopped his son's tirade. A brief look of befuddlement crossed his son's face and he stepped closer. "Why did you say yes to returning here?" Pell persisted as he came to a stop again with a couple of feet between them.

Scowling again as he glanced away, Abrimel muttered, "I wanted to make sure that Caeru was all right and that it wasn't another ploy to hurt him." He brought his head up and full on glared at his father. "You've fucked him over so much that I had to be sure! I had to make sure that at least with this pearl and with what Lileem was saying that you had really made it up to Caeru!" he added angrily as his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"I understand," Pell said quietly and he did. He understood why his son was there to make sure that it wasn't like before. "I did have a change of heart...for the better, Abrimel. But you have Cal to thank for that, not me. Cal healed your hostling so that he could carry pearls again. Caeru...healed me in turn. It's for him that I brought you here...it was for him that I rooned him and gave him a pearl. It was for both of us that I accepted this harling and am helping in raising it, instead of pushing it away like I did with you. And it was for both of us that I am standing before you and asking for another chance, for I am willing to give you another chance," he stated warmly as he watched his firstborn intently.

"Why should I believe you?  You hate my chesnari. You declared me a traitor and that was *after* making me wish I'd never been hatched! Did you make your other children feel that way?" Abrimel asked bitterly and his eyes glittered with angry tears that didn't fall.

"I guess...in a way I did with Darquiel and I regret it. I regret how I treated you and I truly don't have any real excuse outside of not wanting to be reminded of what I had done to and with Rue," Pellaz replied sadly as he stood before his son, feeling his heart heavy with all that he had done. Truly he had hurt many hara with his striving to gain power and to become a true Tigron worthy of Thiede. In his rise to power, the stepping stones he had used had been cracked and made brittle with his callousness.

"So you really didn't want me. And that talk of me being a traitor when I went with Ponclast, who was the first har to show me *any* kind of respect...that was just to hurt me more, wasn't it? Or was it to destroy Caeru?" Abrimel spat out and his voice trembled in his effort to contain the hurt tears that were threatening even more.

Pell couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand to see the pain that he had caused now that the veil of his selfishness and self-absorption had been lifted. With two steps, he had his son in his arms and held him close even when the younger har fought him a bit. But with a sob, Abrimel melted into his arms, clinging to him as he cried and yelled at him, begging him for reasons as to why he had been so cold. Pell couldn't give any answer beyond what he'd said already so he just held onto his son until he had quieted in his arms. His hands never stopped in their soothing strokes as he tucked Abrimel close to him before shifting them to sit on a nearby bench.

Quietly, he began to tell Abrimel the story of how he'd met Abrimel’s hostling and what had happened before then. He then told of what had happened when he'd arrived at Immanion and why Thiede's decision to force him into a blood bond with Caeru had upset him so much. In his heart he knew that some things were never enough and understood that his explanation might not mean much. But he was through running from his heart just for the sake of being some advanced being. He loved Caeru and Calanthe, as well as all of their harlings. There was no reason he couldn't accept that.

After he had finished, they just sat together quietly, letting the wind and the songs of the nearby birds calm them into peace. Pell was glad for it too since all that had been said was draining and distressing for the most part even when it was cleansing. He just didn't want his son hurting anymore. And suddenly, he knew of a way to make things truly better. True, it'd be going back on his decree and they weren't sure if Ponclast was really healed from his madness, but they wouldn't know unless they did it.

Gently, he straightened and brought Abrimel up a bit so that they were looking at each other again. "Abrimel...Wolf...I know what I must do to truly start getting you to trust me and so that we can be together to heal," he said softly as he cupped his son's face with his hands. Abrimel's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but when the younger har didn't answer, Pell continued. "I am reversing the decree on Ponclast and allowing him, and thusly you, back into this dimension. You can pick a place to live quietly and we shall hope that Ponclast is truly cured of his madness," he said softly and smiled when Abrimel's eyes lit up with joy, though it was overshadowed by wariness.

“What’s the cost?” Abrimel asked warily as he watched Pell and Pell couldn’t blame him. With the immense amount of history they had just between themselves, it was going to take a lot more than just a promise to reverse a decree. But the bridge was there, being rebuilt or at least attempting to.

“The cost?” he finally replied and smiled as he gently caressed his thumbs along his son’s cheeks. It was almost strange for him to do this, since he had never been openly public with his affection to anyone. But he had to admit that it also finally felt natural. It finally felt right to show this kind of affection. Focusing on his son’s fearful gaze, he cupped Abrimel’s face again. “The cost is that you have to visit us at least once a week and stay for longer than an hour,” he whispered and grinned.

Laughing a bit in a combination of what seemed to be relief and amusement, Abrimel’s eyes cleared of his fear and doubt as he laughed again. Pell snickered with him before hugging his son close to him, feeling the acceptance of the ‘terms’ within Abrimel’s answering hold. Leaning back after a minute, Pell grinned as he ran his hand through his son’s hair. “I’m glad you’re here, Abrimel,” he whispered gently.

“It’s so weird hearing you act and talk like this. You really have changed, haven’t you?” Abrimel murmured back then laughed softly as Pell rested his forehead against his son’s.

“Let me be the father you deserve...even if it is rather late,” Pell said quietly and couldn’t stop the grin as Abrimel nodded against his forehead. He had his son back. He knew right then just how Caeru had felt. It was indeed a wonderful feeling.

*~~**~~*

Pell pinched the bridge of his nose as Ashmael continued to extol how disastrous it would be to bring back Ponclast from his exile. They had heard of how it would undermine their authority, that it was basically Pell being weak for Caeru, why they were no longer worthy of being the leaders if they were not going to stand by their decrees, and so on. Finally, it seemed that Ashmael had at last found the end of his speech as he turned to Pell and Cal where they sat next to Caeru at the front of the Hegemony. “If you do this, Tigrons...you are betraying your people,” he stated vehemently before sitting. A soft rush of whispered agreement rose briefly in the hall before silencing.

But Pellaz didn’t stand. He didn’t look at them nor did he even acknowledge the expectant looks directed at him. He tapped his chin for a bit, a move he had picked up from Cal when they would have their own debates. It would always drive him nuts in how arrogant his consort looked, but it was indeed soothing to his mind. Eventually though, he focused on the Hegemony and shook his head. “Betrayal. That is what this entire issue is about. Betrayal of a father against his son. Betrayal of a son against his father. Betrayal of a leader to his people. Betrayal of a har to his heart. For almost a century now, Wraeththu have betrayed themselves. We claim to be higher beings and yet we betray our hearts...our very souls. We turn our faces away from the ugliness hidden within ourselves and cover it with pious bullshit and pompous asshattery. When the Tigron decrees that a har who embodied this very spirit and those associated with said har are to be exiled, no one questions if he is right or wrong. They assume he has seen the betrayal and the sickness and stricken it from the heart of Wraeththu. They then return to their pompous living and mundane politics, claiming that all is right in the world. And yet, that spirit still lives, growing...poisoning...degrading what is pure. What are Wraeththu? We are said to be above Mankind...risen from their ashes to become shining and clear from what was their doom. But we’re not because we betray our hearts.” He stood up and faced them. “I betrayed my son the day I betrayed my heart. The day he betrayed me was the day he listened to his heart. The day I betrayed the spirit of what Wraeththu has become is the day I listened to my heart.”

He looked over at Cal and Caeru, who were both smiling at him proudly. He smiled back before looking at the gathered Hegemony as they gazed back at him, all looking very uncomfortable. “I have spoken with Lileem. She has deemed Ponclast fit to return and for that, his exile ends. With his return, Abrimel will be allowed back. They shall be given a place to stay and be in this dimension once more. I am quite sure that, while it is not exile, the act of shunning them shall be justice enough for you pompous brats. But I for one am tired of betraying who I am and those I love.” He smirked as whispers rose up at that and snorted. “Yes you brats...love. Sorrow...wrath...jealousy...hatred...desire. Feelings. We have those. Denying them denies ourselves. Get over it. I am not betraying the people. I am trying to get them to stop betraying themselves. Now...if that is all, I have real work to do.” With that, he turned and left the room with his two consorts.

When they got out of the room, Pell stumbled as he was nearly knocked over from behind. He chuckled as he was turned and huffed a bit as he was drawn almost immediately into sharing breath with Caeru. He was nearly flooded with Caeru’s love, pride, and desire, which both amused and aroused him in return. After a bit he was released and taken into another sharing with Cal as Caeru peppered kisses along his neck. When he was let go, he grinned at them, which got lusty grins back. “I am so hot for you right now,” Caeru murmured huskily against his neck.

Pell couldn’t help the laugh that floated out of him at that. He went with them to their rooms in Phaonica and didn’t leave said rooms for the rest of the day.  But later that night, they had dinner with their children and discussed the plans of bringing Ponclast back into their dimension. Abrimel, Pell could tell, was very excited as was Geburael, though he was more subdued in showing it. Since he had basically not known either parent most of his life, he was still working through the fact that he would be able to see them both and be with them. Pell could understand that feeling. He felt that way about Cal and Abrimel daily even though it had been years since Cal’s return. In fact, the same could be said of Darquiel. It was if, with the healing of Caeru’s scars, everything was finally coming together.

And for that, Pell was grateful.

*~~**~~*

The house was modest as it stood amidst the grassy glade of the forest. It was light brown with red shingles lining it and had two stories. There were many windows throughout the building and Pell felt like he was standing before We Dwell in Forever all those decades ago. But this place held peace; the spirits of the previous owners were at rest and welcoming to their new owners. And it was there that Pellaz, with the aid of Calanthe, opened the doorway to the Multiversal Library, where Lileem was staying with Ponclast. They went inside with Abrimel and were met by Lileem and Ponclast. Pell moved forward then as Cal and Abrimel stopped and stood before Ponclast. “Hello Ponclast,” he said quietly as he searched the other har’s eyes for sign of madness.

“Tigron...it has been many years. What brings you here? Are you returning my chesnari?” Ponclast replied as he smiled and Pell felt his heart lighten at the nervousness within that simple expression.

“No.” Pell had to fight a grin as Ponclast’s face fell at the declaration and he looked down. Stepping closer, Pell put his hand on Ponclast’s shoulder. “I’ve come to bring his chesnari to their new home.” He smiled as Ponclast looked up in shock and nodded. “I have revoked the exile placed on you and Abrimel. It won’t be easy to live in our world again for you will not be so easily forgiven by others. But I want Abrimel in my life...our life...again. And with him comes you. And I believe in my heart that you have healed from your madness and that you are ready to be what you are: Wraeththu. Do you accept my offer?”

Ponclast inhaled deeply and knelt before Pellaz. “Tigron, I swear to you that I shall live in peace in your land as Wraeththu. My madness is healed and I seek no longer to destroy all that is good. I seek only peace with my chesnari and our harling and any other harlings we may seek to have,” he declared and Pell couldn’t help the laugh that floated from him.

“More grandharlings! I look forward to that!” Pellaz responded and Cal laughed behind them as Ponclast looked up. Reaching out, Pell pulled Ponclast to his feet. “Come then...time for you to go to your chesnari and your new home. Lileem...would you like to return home as well?”

“Nah...I’m still learning here! But I will return someday soon. Tell Mima, Ulaume, and Flick that I miss and love them ok?” Lileem replied with a smile before heading back into the Library.

Sighing, Pell shook his head before turning towards his consort and his son. He winked at Abrimel, who almost ran forward to hug and share breath with his chesnari. Pellaz went to Cal’s side and smiled before lacing his fingers with his chesnari’s. They opened the portal and turned to the other two before taking their hands and leading them through to their dimension. When they arrived, Ponclast gasped softly as he looked around before focusing on Geburael, who was standing nervously next to Caeru and Lior. Pell and Calanthe watched with small smiles as Abrimel took Ponclast over and introduced their son to him. Ponclast’s wonder filled touch to Geburael’s face brought warmth to Pell’s heart and he knew that they had done the right thing. The scars of hatred and betrayal were healing and all it had needed was a little cut. But to be honest...the cut was the easiest thing he’d ever had to do.

The End!

<Home>  <Scars Are Signs Of Healing