Title: Guys Don’t PMS!

Author: Deathangelgw

Email: deathangelgw@gmail.com

Disclaimer: They are SOOOOOOOOooooooooooo not mine, though damn, if dreams could come true!

Warnings: AU, gen, humor, swearing, RPS, girly!Jensen, pre-slash.

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Jared and Jensen

Word Count: 1479 words

Beta:  MA, that great big bundle of love.....er something...

Summary: Jensen’s eating more than his character calls for.

Spoilers: Season 2 ep 18...er a bit...avoid if you aren’t a spoiler bunny!

A/N: I completely blame my baby bro for this plot bunny...even if it was inadvertent. Teehee! Anyways, this is based off of my comment to him about how they seem intent on dumbing Dean down by making him into a pig (Aka stuffing his face incessantly!) and baby bro comments that maybe he’s PMSing. (this he would know since his girl...may she rot in hell thankies...does this right before her time of the month...which must be 24/7 with the way she eats...can people tell I don’t like her??) ALSO, this is for Keepaofthecheez, who totally agrees with me...er at least I think...bwahaha! ANYHOO, enjoy and please review! Cross posted to my LJ and the LJ comm WB_RPS.

Anyone who knew Jensen and Jared knew that Jared was the pig of the group. He had three helpings of whatever dish, ate candy like there was no tomorrow, and generally lived in a mess. He was cheerful about it...blatantly obvious even...and everyone just said, “That’s Jared,” and moved on.

But they all had to stop and stare when it was Jensen being the pig because *that was* unusual. He wasn’t even that obvious about it, but things add up after a while. During his scenes as Dean, he’d stuff his face with whatever food had been put on the prop table, licking his fingers afterwards before moving onto the next item. However, when ‘Cut!’ is called...he didn’t stop.

Jared watched his co-star in bemusement as Jensen swallowed his current mouthful of sandwich before shoving a large bite of doughnut into his mouth. After washing it down with a couple of gulps of water, he finished it before grabbing another sandwich. Eyes widening as Jensen proceeded to inhale that as well, Jared couldn’t keep back the, “Dude! What the hell are you doing?”

Startled, Jensen looked over at him with his mouth open and just about to stuff the sandwich into his mouth. “What?” he asked defensively before shoving the sandwich into his mouth.

Shaking his head, Jared laughed slightly and pointed at the food. “You’ve just scarfed down as much as I have! In the same amount of time! What’s up with that?” he asked before crossing his arms over his chest and grinning.

Straightening up defensively as he chewed before swallowing, Jensen glared at Jared. “Hey shut up, man! No one eats as much as you! And besides...m’hungry,” he replied hotly before reaching back and grabbing another doughnut, which he bit into challengingly while holding Jared’s stare.

Gaping, Jared lifted his arms in a gesture of bewilderment.  “Yea I eat a lot, but you just beat my record for a day! Man, did Dean take you over all of a sudden?” he asked as he grinned teasingly.

He jumped though as Jensen slammed his hand on the table, squishing the doughnut into the white cheap plastic table spread as he glared hotly at Jared. He started as he saw tears well up in Jensen’s eyes as the older man chewed frantically before swallowing so he could answer. “Are you saying I’m a pig? Or why don’t you just say I’m fat and that this is to calm my hormones like I’m some girl!” he shouted, which silenced the crew around them and stunned Jared silent. But Jensen didn’t care as he wiped an arm over his face, grabbed his doughnut, and stormed away. “Screw you, Padalecki! You’re just a guy!” he shot over his shoulder as he headed for his trailer.

Stunned, Jared stared after Jensen along with everyone else. Jensen Ackles did not throw *hissy fits*. Something was up obviously...and who better to find out than the tall body of charged water that called himself Ackles’ co-star?

 Stuffing his hands into Sam’s pants, Jared sauntered over to Jensen’s trailer, which his friend had just stomped into. He reached the door in a minute, but just waited outside, listening. He could hear Jensen inside, pacing and muttering obscenities that could be heard here and there through the door. Sighing heavily and rubbing the back of his neck ruefully, Jared tried to figure out what might be wrong. By all accounts, Jensen seemed to be almost...

He stopped that thought with a snort. Jensen couldn’t be that...guys don’t PMS! He was just...hungry or something. But whatever was bothering his best friend, he had to at least try and help. With a stern nod to himself, he stepped up to the door and knocked once. He waited for a bit and smiled when he heard the snarled summons before he opened the door and went inside. He frowned lightly as he saw the tears that were trailing down Jensen’s red splotched face as the other man started pacing almost immediately after Jared shut and locked the door behind him. “Jensen...what’s wrong, man? I’ve never seen you like this,” he inquired gently while employing the patented Sam’s Puppy Eyes of Doom™.

“I don’t know, ok? And stop with the Sam eyes!” Jensen snapped out as he sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He stopped and let out a huff as he turned and faced Jared. “I just...I’m so sick and tired of Dean being made into a pig! It’s demeaning and now I’m eating half the time and just...ARGH!” He stomped his foot and wiped at his face again as he sniffled. “I’m gaining weight and what person wants to be around a fat person?!” he added and his voice cracked, showing his pique.

Coming further into the trailer, Jared placed a hand on Jensen’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. “You’re not fat...you never were and never will be. Dude, you can control this, I know you can,” he stated quietly as he stared into Jensen’s watery eyes.

“I know...but it’s so *hard*!” Jensen whined as he turned away while crossing his arms over his chest in a firm pout hold. “You know that chocolate balls thing? I hated it...I felt like an inflated chipmunk with drool problems! For Christ’s sake, could they have made Dean any dumber?” he said and sighed heavily once again before wiping his face in irritation.

“Yea I know...but you did look funny,” Sam replied as he wrapped his arms around Jensen comfortingly. He blinked as Jensen leaned into him and smiled at the trust that was shown to him. “How about this? Every time you feel the need to eat beyond what is called for, you grab a sucker and suck on it?” he suggested before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small bag of hard candy he’d taken to carrying when he got hungry on set.

“How will that help? It’s sugar and will add on just as much!” Jensen protested as he eyed the hard candy like it was poison.

Laughing lightly, Jared waved the bag in front of Jensen. “Trust me, it helps. What the problem is prolly that you need to have something in your mouth all the time, so that’s why you’re constantly eating. This way, you have that, it’ll be gone before the next take, and it takes the edge off. And these are calorie free, so guilt free as well. And, while we’re at it, want to start up with working out again? We slacked off there,” he explained with a grin before straightening as Jensen turned to him. He was heartened as he saw the honest smile on the seriously kissable mouth and he had to shake off *that* thought before it went somewhere neither of them wanted...maybe.

“Jay, what would I do without you?” Jensen asked as he looked up at his co-star before hugging the younger man tightly.

“Eh, prolly be out looking for lost puppies,” Jared responded lightly as he hugged his friend back before they parted and grinned at each other. “Ready for the next shoot?” he asked with a wink.

Grabbing the bag of hard candy from Jared, Jensen dumped half of it into his hand and popped one in his mouth before stuffing the rest into his pocket. “Now I am,” he answered before sticking his tongue out with the candy on his tongue. He grinned as he sucked it back in and headed for the door.

Jared could only watch him for a bit, turned on by how that candy had been sucked into that luscious mouth. With a firm shake, he grinned as Jensen called for him. Candy was always the way to a girl’s heart after all...

Fin!

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