‘thoughts’

Warnings: Angst, some violence, language.

A hand stroking through his hair and the feel of soft fur under his cheek woke Jared slowly from his sleep and he nuzzled into the warm fur as the pair of arms around him tightened, drawing him closer. He winced a little as his chest ached and he slowly opened his eyes and blearily looked around. He realized that the fur under his cheek was wolf fur and looked up to see gentle golden hazel eyes watching him. The fingers stroking through his hair registered and his gaze shifted more to lock with Jensen’s as the older man watched him sadly. He remembered then what had happened and looked away as tears came to his eyes, but they were brushed away with a long finger. He looked back up, then noticed that Jensen was glowing just a little and looked over to see that the sky was pinking just a bit. He turned his gaze back to Jensen, who was looking at his own hand before turning his gaze down to focus on Jeff. Jared leaned up a little as well and watched the curse take shape before his very eyes.

The wolf slowly changed, not painful as the movies, but gentle...a simple shift from wolf to man within the blink of an eye as the light touched over their bodies. Jeff shifted and looked up as Jensen stared at him, his eyes wide with tears and longing as he brought his hand in to touch. Jeff reached up as well and Jared urged them...urged them to touch and hurry...

But it wasn’t meant to be.

With a fluttering of wings and Jensen’s sob of despair, the cry turned into the cry of a hawk and Jensen flapped his wings before taking to flight. He cried out again before swooping out the door that had been opened by Mike as he stood nearby, watching in sorrow.

Jeff’s scream of anguish broke through the morning and Jared felt tears rolling down his cheeks as Jeff curled onto his side and sobbed. But he didn’t reach for Jeff or comfort him. Instead, he got up and left their little nest and went into a bathroom to cry quietly by himself.

A few minutes later, he emerged after pulling on a long shirt to Jeff snarling at Mike as the bald man faced off with Jeff. Jared ran to Jeff and pulled at his arm. “Stop it Jeff! He’s here to help!” he shouted as Jeff cursed at Mike for being there and for getting Jensen involved in the ‘stupid plan’. “Jeff!” Jared grunted then as Jeff shoved him off and he went sprawling and cried out in pain as his wounds reopened when he hit the nearby couch. He turned onto his back and sat up a bit before looking up to find Jeff staring at him in horror and realized that his wounds could be seen.

“What happened? Where did you get those?” Jeff whispered hoarsely as he knelt next to Jared and helped him to sit up more.

Mike came over as Jared looked away and said gruffly, “That happened last night when he saved your life.”

Jeff stared at Jared before looking up at Mike. When he saw the truth for what it was, he looked down then at Jared again. He reached over and tenderly hugged Jared to him. “You...idiot...Why?” he whispered shakily as Jared just rested against him numbly.

“Because...I did what I could,” Jared mumbled and closed his eyes as he just took in Jeff’s scent and warmth. This was the last time...he better have a good memory.

A heavy sigh left Jeff as he held Jared closer before looking up at Mike. “All right...what do we need to do?” he asked sadly and Mike knelt next to them to explain what needed to be done, the first being that they get rid of the microchip that was in Jared’s neck. Jared just hoped it would be enough.

*~*~*

New York City was as busy as he remembered it all those years ago and yet, it was a strange world to him now. Jensen glanced around as he sat in the van with Mike and Jeff prowled in the back of the van. He watched the city move around him and glanced in the side mirror to make sure that Jared was still with them. He felt his heart break again as he remembered how withheld Jared had become over the past two days as they had traveled to New York. ‘He just doesn’t understand...but how can I explain it? How can any of us explain it?’ he wondered in despair before looking over at Mike. “How much further?” he asked softly as he hugged himself.

“With how traffic is, we should make it to Misha’s place by midnight. After that...who knows,” Mike answered and sighed as he was forced to stop again. He glanced over at Jensen before looking forward again. “You know you can prove to Jared that your feelings are true once this is over, right?”

“I don’t know if he’ll believe us anymore, Mike. He’s been through so much. To find out that our lust was basically more from the curse and not solely from our wanting him....that would break anyone. Especially one who has been shunned by everything he ever loved,” Jensen replied quietly and his voice broke a bit as he looked down.

“What would you do if you could get through to him now?” Mike inquired as they started forward again and Jensen caught him looking at his mirrors, more than likely checking on Jeff and Jared.

“I don’t know, that’s the bad thing. I can remember how it was with Jeff before everything, but now it’s all based on my animal instincts to own and mark and mate. And I think it’s the same with Jeff. But I never felt this way with anyone else that came into our lives. Does that mean something?” Jensen whispered and bit on his thumb a bit. But Mike didn’t answer, letting the question say the answer for itself as they drove towards their friend’s place that would place them closest to the town hall where on December first there would be a meeting of all the committees and council members as well as the police administrators to discuss new policies before the end of the year.

Jensen just hoped that it would be worth it all in the end. He had a bad feeling though that things might not go as planned. And the feeling centered most on Jared.

When they finally arrived to the downtown area that was centered around the city hall building, they took a left and went down a block. Pulling into the parking ramp that was there, they all got out of the van and stretched their legs as Jared pulled up next to them. Mike opened the door and Jeff hopped out, woofing as he shook himself before trotting over to Jensen then to Jared. He whined a bit as Jared only gave him a small ear scratch in greeting before heading into the building with Mike and Jensen bit his lip with worry. Jared looked so...resigned. So dead to his feelings. It looked like he had already accepted the fate that they would leave him. ‘How often has that happened?’ Jensen wondered as he and Jeff followed them inside and up the stairs of the older building.

They finally got to the third floor and were greeted almost immediately by Misha. Jensen was glad to see that some things didn’t change as Misha’s warm smile and crinkling blue eyes greeted them before the shorter slender man let them into his place. His place was a rather spacious studio that was tastefully decorated. A lace curtain surrounded the rather large bed, thus separating it from there rest of the studio. “Guys need a drink?” Misha asked and chuckled as Jeff barked at him before trotting over. “Hey Jeff...you got fuzzier!” he stated with a laugh as he knelt and pet the wolf amiably. Jeff mock growled and Mike laughed as well.

“You got a better reception than I did. But he always did like you better,” Mike commented before going over to the fridge and pulling out some beers for everyone. He held up his bottle and looked at each of them, even though Jensen noted that Jared kept his gaze down as he stood near a pole on the other side of the kitchenette. “To success and bringing down evil.”

“To bringing down the asshole of the hill,” Jared corrected with a smirk as they all tilted their bottles in the toast.

“To bringing down the asshole of the hill,” they all agreed and laughed as Jeff howled as well. They had to succeed. It was all they had left.

*~*~*

Jeff glanced over at Misha as they walked along the sidewalk heading for the town hall. His friend was one of the top reporters for the New York Times, but he was also one of the biggest investigators into what had been happening since the curse had been set on Jeff and Jensen. He was one of their close friends from back in the day and Jeff knew that they could count on him to back them up. He was the one who had managed to get press passes for all of them, but Jared and Mike with Jensen were going to be going in another way while he went in with Misha. “Misha...thanks for being there for us still,” he murmured quietly as they went off the sidewalk and up the stairs to the town hall where various other media and city government officials were heading.

“Dude, you broke me into the best job ever. It’s the least I could do in helping you take down the asshole of the hill!” Misha replied just as softly back and they snickered at the nickname that Jared had coined. It fit very well.

Jared.

Jeff’s smile slipped and he looked ahead as he thought about the young man. The entire weekend as they had prepared for the final confrontation, Jared had been quiet and remote. He had spoken briefly with Mike, trying to figure out what had happened to his younger lover and had been horrified to hear that Jared knew about one of the side effects of the curse. He had tried to speak to Jared, but Jared had just shut him out, more than likely protecting himself from any more hurt. Misha had taken to talking to Jared and the two had become good friends over that short time, but Jeff had felt cold inside as he had been forced to watch Jared become further from him and, in retrospect, Jensen as well. He was stirred out of his thoughts when his shoulder was squeezed and he glanced at his friend. “Misha...”

“I told this to Jensen and I’ll say it to you. If you two are meant to have that boy as a part of your life, there won’t be anything to stop you. Have some faith and get your focus back. We have a lot to do,” Misha stated firmly, albeit gently and Jeff nodded as he smiled.

He checked his holster to make sure his Colt would come out without any hitches. He didn’t know if Mike’s claims were true about the curse being broken or not with the eclipse, but one way or another, Tom Welling was going to be dead by the end of this meeting. End of story. He had already asked Mike to take Jensen’s life if he failed because if he did, he was dead. He knew that his old friend didn’t want to, had protested violently, but in the end, Jeff would have it no other way. Together in life or death. That was how it was going to be.

Nodding at Misha as they went inside, Jeff followed the reporter into the main council chambers, feeling almost nostalgic as he walked down the aisles with Misha until they arrived at the press area. He sat down, feeling nervous as he kept his gaze moving, tracking those that were gathered. He almost snarled as he saw Kane sitting near Marsters and Jaime Welling. That man had risen into his former position after he had left and had killed Steve, one of Jeff’s best friends. ‘He dies today as well,’ he decided as he made sure to sit on the edge of the row. He would have a clear shot no matter what.

A bell tolled, signaling that the meeting was beginning and Welling stepped out of the wings and to his seat as applause greeted him. His political smile was warm as he waved, then sat down along with the others that were gathered. “This final meeting before the end of the year 2009 can now commence,” Welling declared, but he was looking nervous. Did he perhaps know that this was his last day of life?

Jeff’s eyes narrowed as the meeting began with the committee member in charge of Juvenile reformation and activities. He listened along with others as several options were proposed for starting activities so that youth could get involved so that they stayed off the street, out of gangs, and into more learning experiences. He felt a pang as he remembered that it was through this kind of thing that he and Jensen had met. His gaze shifted to the mayor and he smirked as he noted how fidgety the mayor was. ‘He’s remembering as well,’ he realized before refocusing on the speech.

When the speech ended and the representative sat down, Welling glanced at the rest of the gathered. “Well I’m sure with more research we’ll be able to figure some more ideas to fit that idea. But for now, I think we should put it aside until the finances are available,” he stated and shuffled his papers as protests and murmurs rose up from the crowd.

“Perhaps you’d like to explain why that is, oh illustrious mayor? Perhaps, you should tell them that you use delinquents sentenced by the judges you’ve paid off to satisfy your own sadistic needs of rape, torture, and other despicable things that shouldn’t be said in the dead of light but the light of day? Perhaps you should tell them how those bodies end up throughout this city, mutilated and filled with drugs that you’ve put into them!”

Welling’s eyes widened and he stood up as the uproar of questions flooded the room, but the mayor’s eyes were focused on Jeff as he strode to the front slowly, eyes filled with rage and danger. Welling mouthed the name ‘Morgan’ but it wasn’t heard as chaos exploded with the recognition of the former Commissioner of the NYPD.

“Get him!”

The order was snarled out by Kane and several cops rushed in at Jeff. But they were up against a former Marine and their previous commander in chief. Jeff met each attack and either blocked them and sent the officers sprawling or knocked them out before he turned and faced the Mayor. But he stopped as Kane moved in front of him and snarled. “Gonna take me out, Kane?” he snapped as he bent into a defensive position.

“No, I think I’ll just kill you,” Kane retorted as he pulled out his gun. But he didn’t get his shot as Jeff rushed him and tackled him, causing the shot to break through the stained glass ceiling and sending glass shards falling to the ground as the crowd screamed. Jeff punched Kane a couple of times before he realized that the air felt different.

He looked up and didn’t even see as Welling stood as well and saw through the broken glass as the sun was darkened by the moon. “Night...without a day. A day without a night...” Jeff’s eyes widened as he realized just what Mike had meant. “Mike...wait!” he cried as he saw that the crowds were dispersing somewhat out the doors. He stopped, feeling dead as what had happened crashed over him and then looked over as he heard Kane getting up. Woodenly, he pulled out his Colt and cocked it. His face hardened then as Kane looked up at him in shock. “This is for Jared and Steve,” he whispered before firing. A trickle of blood appeared between Kane’s eyes and he slowly fell over, dead.

Turning, he faced Welling and raised his gun. Welling smirked as he held his hands up. “But kill me Jeff and the curse will never be broken,” he said snidely as silence fell over the room. “We must think of Jensen after all.”

A bitter smile tilted Jeff’s lips before it shook and he blinked back tears. “Jensen....is dead.” Welling’s eyes widened in horror and Jeff laughed a bit through his sudden despair. “Damn you....damn you to hell,” he whispered as he cocked the Colt.

“Jeff?”

The whispered name floated through the silent room, stilling it as effectively as it had so many years on the stage. But most of all, it stilled the despair within Jeff’s heart and soul and he slowly turned to find Jensen standing within the beam of light that was coming through the broken glass. His mouth went dry as he saw Jensen dressed in just a pair of black jeans and shoes, his hair golden from the light and he felt a sob work its way out. But suddenly he remembered what had to be done and turned to find Welling looking down, shaking as he kept his eyes closed. He leapt over the railing that separated the office chairs from the group and put the gun against Welling’s head. “Look at him,” he ordered harshly and Welling’s eyes opened as he looked up, focusing on Jensen. Shifting so he was in front of the mayor, Jeff pulled back a bit. “Look at me,” he snarled and glared into the wide blue eyes that snapped to him. He stepped back more as the gun fell to his side, joy spiraling through him. “Now look at us,” he whispered hoarsely. But the mayor kept his gaze on him and he shouted, “Look at us!” With the words still echoing around the room, the mayor’s gaze shifted just enough to take them both in.

And he felt it. He felt the animal side that he had come to know fade until it was just a normal part of him. He turned and faced Jensen before walking down the stairs slowly as Jensen walked to him. He could feel the tears of joy rolling down his cheeks and saw them on Jensen’s cheeks as he reached for Jeff. He grabbed Jensen’s hand as soon as they were close and kissed the hand as Jensen sobbed a bit. They kissed softly, so tenderly it was almost unreal, but then he felt the touch of leather. He looked down and saw the leather grips that had been Jensen’s bonds and looked up at Jensen. Jensen’s face became cold and hard as he looked over at Welling, then stepped around Jeff and went up to where Welling was watching, his eyes wide with longing and anger.

Slowly, Jensen stepped up the stairs and held up the bonds before the mayor then let them drop. He turned and started back to Jeff. But Welling whispered softly, “No one will have you,” as a dagger appeared in his hand and he went after Jensen.

“Jeff look out!”

The shout warned them and Jeff turned and fired, hitting the mayor square in the heart and sending the man stumbling into the desk with the momentum. Jensen stumbled back with a gasp as Welling whispered Jensen’s name as blood trickled from his mouth and he slumped, dead.

Jensen turned to Jeff and laughed a little as tears rolled anew down his cheeks before he went into Jeff’s arms. With a shout of joy, Jeff lifted Jensen off his feet and swung him around before bringing him down for another kiss, this full of love and passion as various people began coming closer and asking questions.

Jared watched them from the shadows as he leaned against a pillar, then turned and left the room. They were finally together again and the curse was broken. He was no longer needed.

Time to move on.

TBC