‘thoughts’

Warnings: a touch of mush and swearing. Ok so those aren’t really warnings...

Looking out the window across from him, Jared sighed and wondered what was taking so long. He watched the sun lower below the tree line and wondered how Jeff was. He knew the older man had been shot and hoped to everything that he was ok. He had a feeling that Jeff could definitely take care of himself, but he didn't want to take that feeling too seriously.

The sound of rapid footsteps down the stairs broke through his train of thought and he watched as Mike hurried down and came into the room, looking around distractedly. "Mike...how-"

"No time to talk. Remember...stay down here. I have to get some medical supplies," Mike cut in and waved his hand, brushing aside the questions before hurrying into the back hall.

Jared heard a door shut and scowled. 'He's not my boss...besides...should check up on the hawk so he really *doesn't* eat it!' he decided and nodded in determination before jumping from the stool. He ran up the stairs as quietly as he could, just barely keeping to the left side in his haste. He got to the room and tried the knob, only to find it locked. Cursing under his breath, he dug into his pockets and smirked as he found a paperclip. 'God, the last guy sure was a nerd,' he thought in relieved amusement as he straightened the wire out as best he could before working on picking the lock.

When it clicked open, he smirked in success before heading into the room. He stopped though as he saw on the bed not the hawk...but Jensen. He froze, his breath catching in his throat as Jensen looked over at him as his broad naked shoulders rested on the pale blue comforter while a sheet covered the rest of him. Jared could tell that he was naked and it was definitely sending his hormones into overdrive as Jensen's brilliant green eyes locked hazily onto him. He noted that there was gauze on Jensen's shoulder...right where the hawk had been shot.

Stunned, he stumbled back a bit finally as it hit him that it was Jensen and not the hawk. Jensen...*was* the hawk! 'Jensen's the hawk!? Wait how the fuck is that possible?!' he wondered dazedly before turning, afraid he was going to say something he shouldn't when Jensen was so clearly in pain.

"Jared...wait..." Jensen's deep voice stopped his leaving and he turned slowly, facing the older man as he trembled, almost too shocked to do much else. Jensen bit his lower lip and Jared couldn't help the spike of want that shot through him at the sensual move, even if it was more than likely an unconscious act. "Jeff...is...is he..."

"J-Jeff's ok, I think..." Jared managed after a bit, feeling his heart dip at the look of relief on the older man's face. "The cops...used me as bait to trap him. I fought them and tried to help..." Jared explained and felt guilty as Jensen laid back, clearly exhausted. "The hawk...he was hurt..." he added in a rough whisper and watched as Jensen turned his face away. 'But you know that...don't you?' he thought as he rubbed his suddenly cold arms.

The door opened behind him all of a sudden and Mike burst into the room, flushed with anger. "I told you to stay...out..." His anger died as he laid eyes on Jensen and Jared watched him pale and swallow hard, wondering what it all meant. He didn't get to think on it though as Mike grabbed his arm and shoved him out of the room. "Stay out this time!" was snapped before the door slammed shut.

"Well what the fuck..." Jared mumbled as he glared at the door before heaving a sigh and heading back down the stairs. Not much more he could do. All he could do was wait and see.

*~*~*

Mike turned back and took a deep breath as Jensen looked over at him. His hand trembled around the bag he had clenched in his hands as deep green eyes focused on him. "Been a long...time..." he finally managed and relaxed a little when Jensen smiled somewhat at him, though it was tinged with pain and wariness.

"Yea. Sorry to drop in like this," Jensen responded and winced and shifted a bit, obviously trying to lessen the pain.

Snorting, Mike came over and put the bag on the night stand before removing its contents and placing them on the table. "You two always did like to take advantage of my hospitality," he groused good naturedly before smirking at Jensen.

"Jared...he knows I think..." Jensen whispered after a minute of silence and Mike glanced at him. The other man stared up at the ceiling, his expression unreadable and Mike had to wonder on it.

"Yea maybe. Bring in a hawk and suddenly there's a hot naked man on the bed instead might be a clue," Mike finally replied and Jensen's face cracked a bit with a small smile. Nodding, Mike dipped some of the cotton he'd grabbed into the alcohol he'd just poured into a bowl then started swabbing the bullet wound after removing the gauze. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch," he muttered as Jensen's face clenched with pain while he struggled to breathe through it.

"Ya think? Just do it," Jensen growled out and locked eyes with Mike again.

Sighing, Mike nodded before reaching for the tongs that he had sterilized. He looked at Jensen again and took a steadying breath as the other man put his hand on Mike's shoulder reassuringly. They both breathed deeply, albeit shakily as Mike brought over the tongs, and then shoved the tips into the wound. He worked as quickly as he could as Jensen screamed in pain, trying to find the bullet. When he found it and yanked it out, Jensen was sweating and pale and barely conscious, but the weak grateful smile made up for causing the pain and Mike wiped his forehead in relief as he put the bullet into the bowl. He then began cleaning the wound in earnest and stitched it up before placing more gauze and then surgical tape around the wound so it would be protected until morning. Once morning came, it wouldn't be needed, but it did require protection until then.

He reached over then and brought out a bottle of brandy and, after popping out the cork, took a swig. He then helped Jensen to sit up and allowed him to take a couple of swallows before letting him relax back. Jensen looked up at him and smiled dimly. "Tell Jared he can visit if he wants. I'd like to see him," he whispered faintly and Mike chuckled as he shook his head.

"I have a feeling that kid is going to get to you just as bad as Morgan did," Mike retorted as he stood and cleaned up the night stand as Jensen grinned at him. "I think he also got to Morgan though. Morgan doesn't trust easy," he added and Jensen's grin softened.

"No, he doesn't," Jensen replied before closing his eyes and relaxing into much needed sleep.

Mike sighed as he looked over at his friend and felt his heart clench a bit. Sure, he'd loved Jensen and Jeff a lot back before shit had changed everything, but the recrimination that had been on Jeff's face after everything that had been done by the mayor would haunt him for the rest of his days. He was to blame for this and he knew it. But he also knew that there was a way out. If only he could get them to listen...

He covered Jensen with another comforter he had on hand and then trudged downstairs and ignored the kid Jared as he went over to the fireplace. He tossed the bag of supplies to the floor before pulling out the brandy and took a swig from it as he glared moodily into the fire. He didn't really hear Jared come over by him, but looked up when he heard a chair being pulled closer. He smirked a bit as the kid sat down next to him, determination and concern on his face. "You sure are a stubborn kid," he muttered before taking another swallow of the burning liquid then offered some to Jared.

The kid took the bottle hesitantly and took a small swallow before handing it back hastily as he coughed and choked a bit. Mike couldn't help snickering at the sight before taking another gulp and relaxing a bit as he stared into the fire. He blinked a bit when Jared's voice broke through his thoughts. "Jensen and Jeff...they aren't normal, are they?"

Snorting, Mike took another pull from the bottle and gazed at the fire as he just remembered everything. "Jeff was the commissioner of the New York City police department about four years ago. He was actually the youngest commissioner in the history of the U.S. and was known for being straight to the point and getting things done when he put his mind to it. He worked directly under the 'honorable' mayor Tom Welling, but back then, things had not been as they are now. Welling was someone looking for power, but he also genuinely cared for the people. He and Jeff had made a great team, cutting down on the crime that had gotten out of hand in New York and basically making a lot of progress in getting that city under control." He trailed off and scowled before he took another drink and didn't even blink when Jared grabbed the bottle and took a sip.

"So what happened? How did the mayor become so evil?" Jared asked lowly as he watched Mike, but the older man didn't care.

"About three years ago, there was a rising star on Broadway named Jensen Ackles. He came out of nowhere, hitting the modeling world and stage and screen like a whirlwind, sweeping everyone up into his rise to fame. Many say it was his looks, but I think he just has that charm that gets you to do whatever he wants without even trying. He was a huge smash on any show he got into and was begged for often enough. Then he got involved with a lobbyist group that was working on fixing up various theaters and schools for theater around New York in order to help get kids out of gangs and off the streets and into creative venues. He worked with Jeff on most of it since they were combining organizations for the fundraising and campaigning." Mike's eyes softened as he remembered those times and he took a slower drink of the brandy before sighing. "I remember watching them cuz we were all working together and the love they shared was incredible and brilliant. It wasn't really well known though because Jeff had to watch out for his job and Jensen didn't want any favors to be done, but oh the passion..." he trailed off and bit his lip, cheeks flushing a bit from the drink and memories.

He sighed though and looked at the bottle, which was nearly empty and finished off the rest. "But Jensen had caught Welling's eye as well. And the man lusted after Jensen...oh did he lust for him. He sent presents and flowers, cards and offered trips around the world just for a chance to be with Jensen. But Jensen's heart belonged to Jeff. So the offers were returned unopened, the cards and poems unread. Yet the mayor wasn't ready to give up. He began trying to blackmail Jensen into going out with him, threatening to close down the organization. But he still didn't get anywhere..." He stopped and took a shuddering breath before tossing in a log into the fire, sending it spitting with sparks.

He remained still as the bottle was removed from his hand, but he looked down as he felt another bottle replace it, a brand of whiskey. He smirked a bit and tipped it a little in salute before chugging down half of it in three gulps and gasping when he released.

"And then?" Jared's inquiry prompted him from his dark musings and he sighed.

"They were betrayed." His voice was flat as he stated the damning words, his eyes never leaving the dancing flames before them. “There was a show for the fundraiser to be performed at one of the hottest clubs in New York. It was a huge success with Jensen at the top and Jeff at his side. They told their friend who was the head bartender and manager of the club that they were going to have a little quickie, obviously running high from the success.” He trailed off again somberly as he stared at the fire and felt a tear roll down his face.

“What happened?” Jared asked softly and Mike heaved a heavy sigh before taking another swig of the whiskey.

“The stupid idiot told Welling that Jensen was in the back and Welling walked in on them.” Mike glanced over when he heard Jared’s quick intake of breath and smiled bitterly. “The dumbass was too drunk to realize what he’d just done, but when he realized what he had done, he’d rushed back to stop it too late. Welling had heard the love making and declarations between the two and lost it. He went mad with rage and hounded them, hunting them from town to town,” he added and hissed with anger as he tossed another log onto the fire.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself...” Jared murmured and Mike laughed outright at that, the sound ugly with regret and despair as Mike glared at him, though the older man didn’t refute the observation that he had been the bartender.

“It didn’t end there though. The mayor was so enraged at the two lovers that he searched for a way to truly punish them...to keep them separated in the worst possible way. No, death wasn’t enough. That was when he met up with James Marsters, a member of a hidden cult that deals with devil worship and dark magic. Marsters cast up a hideous curse with the powers of hell and all darkness and placed it upon the two lovers. At what cost to Welling no one but they know, but the damage had been done to devastating effect.” He fell quiet again and proceeded to down the alcohol in the clear bottle before throwing it into the fire and glaring gloomily into the fire. “You see them as they are, Jensen and Jeff. By day, Jensen is a hawk while Jeff is a man. By night, Jensen is human and the lone wolf cry you hear is the howl of despair from Jeff. Never touching...only the brief instant when the sun rises and sets to see each other.”

“Forever together...eternally apart,” Jared whispered and Mike looked over to see tears rolling down the kid’s face.

“As long as the sun rises and sets....as long as there is night and day. They are forever parted. That is the curse that the illustrious mayor of NYC cast upon two that loved each other so purely.” Mike sighed and stood up shakily, bracing himself woozily on the back of his chair before reaching over and running a soothing hand through Jared’s hair. “You’re now a part of this story whether you want to be or not, Jared. I hope that you can heal some of the pain that was caused,” he said quietly before leaving the room. He went upstairs and checked on Jensen before stumbling to his own room. He wouldn’t sleep for a while, but he knew that he had to get away from the kid. The sorrow and purity there reminded him of the good times that he’d help destroy.

*~*~*

Jared stared at the fire for a while, just letting the tears roll down his cheeks as he came to grips with the pain and sorrow that he finally realized had been underlying the vibes he kept getting from Jensen and Jeff. They were still good people, still full of caring and love and passion, but the curse had torn into their very souls. ‘Why do I feel like being with them so much? What is our connection?’ he wondered and hugged himself as he looked down. He glanced out the windows and noted how late it was and sighed as he heard a wolf howl nearby. ‘Nearly midnight. I better get some sleep,’ he decided before slowly standing and going up the stairs, careful to stay on the left side. He wasn’t sure why Mike had told him to do that, but oh well. It just made for a different act in a usually mundane action like walking stairs.

He thought about the situation numbly as he slowly started down the hall then found himself stopping just outside of Jensen’s room. He looked at the door and memories of being close to Jensen and Jeff, their scents and warmth, their smiles and the gentleness and the trust that seemed to embrace him so willingly. He couldn’t understand how in such a short time he could feel so close to two men who were in the predicament that they were in. But he did. It was something different from anything he’d experienced in his short life. He thought he’d known something with George or hell that boy on the football team that had gotten him disinherited and shunned from his home town and led him up there. Those feelings were pittance compared to what he felt so purely with these two men.

And it scared him.

But he didn’t care. He didn’t care that if he did get close to them he was risking his heart when they finally were able to break the curse. He didn’t care that he might die helping them. All he cared about was being the one to alleviate some of their sorrow. He had a feeling that was the reason why they had met and he decided then and there that he’d help them break the curse no matter what.

No matter what.

He went to the door and turned the knob silently, then went inside. He held his breath as he saw Jensen sleeping quietly under the comforter and couldn’t help but admire the strong handsome face that was relaxed in sleep. But as he watched, the emerald green eyes slowly revealed themselves and focused on him. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him before facing the older man. He smiled a little as he tilted his head in greeting. “Hey.”

Jensen smiled back sleepily and tried to move, but stopped when Jared waved his hand and came towards the bed. He shifted his legs to the side as Jared sat on the side of the bed, but stilled when a slender hand rested on his knee. “So...Mike told you, huh?” he murmured sadly and sighed.

“Yea. I’m sorry,” Jared whispered softly and squeezed Jensen’s knee. He looked down at his own knees then glanced at Jensen. “Mind if I stick around though? Always wanted to be around cursed guys who were hot too,” he remarked and Jensen started chuckling softly as he shook his head.

“You’re an idiot...” Jensen whispered, but it was tender and full of gratitude and amusement.

Laughing softly, Jared grinned before leaning down and bracing himself on either side of Jensen’s shoulders. He smiled as Jensen rested a hand on his hip and shifted so that he was close enough but not hurting Jensen. “Yea I may be an idiot, but at least I’m here...right?” he said quietly and smiled when Jensen looked up at him with the hint of tears in his eyes. He placed his thumbs alongside of Jensen’s temples and rubbed gently. “I’m here and you and Jeff...you’re not alone anymore. And we’re gonna fix things so you two can be together again. I promise,” he whispered and Jensen closed his eyes as a couple of tears rolled free.

“Jared...” His name was spoken softly and filled with hope and happiness and Jared felt his own heart clench. Jensen reached a hand up and cupped Jared’s cheek as he smiled. “You remind me...of Jeff. Strong, sure...caring. I’m glad we met...” he whispered and Jared smiled back, though something in him hesitated at that statement. But he didn’t think anymore on it. Gently, he shifted again until he was sitting up and lifted Jensen then slid under the older man, supporting Jensen's bad shoulder with his body as he wrapped his arms around Jensen and held him close. He smiled as Jensen rubbed his cheek against his chest and tugged the comforter back up around them to keep them warm. He had made his choice and Jensen had accepted it for what it was: an end to the loneliness.

He just hoped that Jeff would take it as well.

TBC