Chapter Sixteen

{Imladris, Hrívë 2 TA (approx. December 22)}

The dawn seemed too cheerful as it arrived to break the night for the somber Last Homely House. Many of the revelers had retreated to their rooms in either shock or grief after the disastrous attack on Lord Elrond. But a small few were in the Healing Halls in vigil over the one who had attacked the Peredhel Lord. Elrond, Celebrían, Erestor, and Glorfindel all sat around the bed that held the peaceful remains of Ecthelion. None of them seemed able to move in their grief, for they had been too blind to see how much pain Ecthelion had been in from his battles. And while they had tried to help in what small ways they could, it had not been enough in any true way, shape, or form.

As first light brought a grey glow into the room, they all seemed to wake from their haze of grief, though it was not very much as they took in the body before them. Elrond went over to Ecthelion’s body after a while and brushed his hand over the soft skin in the beginning rites of setting the faer to peace, his eyes welling up with tears at his failure to have healed this one. But his hand suddenly stopped as it came over the pale lips. He stared intently at the still face before bending in and placing his cheek just above the parted lips as he was watched in rising confusion by the other three. His eyes widened in shock as he felt the soft brush of air over his cheek and he moved instantly, startling the group who were with him as he pushed the sheet down just enough to see Ecthelion’s chest. As he watched along with the rest, they saw the wounds heal themselves slowly before Elrond placed his hands over them. His eyes closed and he drew in a deep breath before a soft warmth left his hands into the wounds, aiding their healing. He then quickly checked Ecthelion’s pulse and a soft cry left his mouth a minute later, surprising the trio that were watching him intently in shock. “He lives!”

Gasps of shock flew out of Erestor, Glorfindel, and Celebrían as they stared at Elrond in astonishment. Glorfindel strode over suddenly to Elrond and grabbed his collar, all but snarling in desperate hope. “Do not fool with us! How can he be alive?!” he demanded as he trembled.

“I know not, but it must have something to do with his changed body! But I tell you this: I do not sense any darkness within him or the duality that was his personality! He is free and alive!” Elrond replied in joy as he hugged his friend, laughing. Glorfindel could only gape before he laughed in elation, joined by the other two as they came over to see what Elrond had found, touching Ecthelion or hugging Elrond as soon as Glorfindel released him to check on Ecthelion.

They could not explain the miracle, but accepted it joyfully nevertheless. Elrond tucked Ecthelion in immediately and ordered for some healing broth to be brought in before commanding Erestor and Glorfindel to go and clean up and have something to eat after Celebrían had left to do the same. They at first bucked his command, but had then obeyed as soon as their exhaustion reminded them of that folly. So, together, they went towards their rooms in joy, nearly bouncing with their rejoicing.

It was in this revelry that Glorfindel noticed something odd on Erestor’s neck. “Erestor...do you have a passion mark?” he asked teasingly as he grabbed the loose tunic that was on Erestor to take a better glimpse. He stopped suddenly as his grin slid from his lips when he noticed that Erestor was very pale at the mention of the mark and also that the tunic was not Erestor’s. The tunic, he realized as a sick feeling rose from his stomach, was Ecthelion’s. His eyes flew up to Erestor’s shame filled gaze and he stumbled back as if slapped. “You and he have...have...”

“Aye, we made love,” Erestor answered the unspoken observation as he bowed his head, swallowing hard as the memories from the previous night went tumbling through his mind. “I had come to see if he was all right, for he had disappeared after taking something for me and he was nigh feral with his battle against his inner darkness,” he explained softly as he looked up and walked closer towards the garden windows and gazed out. “I could not defend myself as he attacked and threw me onto the divan in his room, but my voice must have broken through the haze for he stopped from killing me. Instead, it was as if...such lust and need he inspired within me...” he stopped before turning around to face the pale faced Seneschal, his own gaze apologetic. “We could not help ourselves...it was a culmination of so much! But...but I know this one thing and that is that I love him dearly, not as kin, but as a lover,” he whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek with his declaration.

A shuddering breath was drawn into the stunned Elf Lord as he stared almost unseeingly at Erestor before he stepped back. He could not even react as he tried to absorb what had been revealed to him. Ecthelion and Erestor...He suddenly found himself enveloped in a tender hold and blinked through the tears that were rolling down his face. “I know now, my Ecthelion. I know now how your heart must have rent in two at the sight of my love for Turgon,” he whispered hoarsely through his tears as he looked up at the ceiling. He suddenly sagged into Erestor’s hold and sobbed as he brought his arms up to hold Erestor closer to him while he wept.

“Do not cry...please. I did not mean for it to happen. He loves you so...” Erestor whispered through his own tears as he struggled to comfort Glorfindel through the shock. He tightened his hold as Glorfindel sobbed once more, urging his own tears to flow more freely at having hurt his dearest friend so deeply. “Please do not cry. I can not bear to see you so hurt, meldiren...melethen...” (my dear friend, my love) he pleaded, then stopped with a gasp as he realized what he had just said. He stared at nothing as Glorfindel slowly released him and gazed at him in shock, for he had heard what was said as well. They looked at each other before Erestor pulled away as a shaking hand came up to his mouth and he ran into his rooms, unable to face the one he had so hurt.

Confused and utterly bewildered with what had just happened, Glorfindel could only stare after where Erestor had gone. He finally shook himself and went to his rooms, where he numbly went into his bathing room to take a nice hot soak. Once in the steaming water, he went over all that had occurred, sorting it in an effort to understand just what had been revealed and what his feelings were on it all. When he finally came to the rather startling revelations that had just occurred, he realized that he was studying his own feelings for Erestor in a new light. He knew he loved Ecthelion with everything in him as he did Turgon as well. But he suddenly realized that, without his intending to, Erestor had grown within his heart in equal parts to Turgon and Ecthelion.

And, as he studied these newly revealed feelings, he understood finally why he had not been jealous at Erestor’s confession. He had accepted it. In fact...the only thing he was jealous of was that he had not been there! This thought shocked him and he started laughing, letting go of all of his tension as he laughed in relief, joy, and delight. Aye, he loved Ecthelion, Turgon, and Erestor and, if he had his way, he was going to have them all...one way or another!

*~*~*

The coldness around him began to slowly dissipate, though it was so subtle that he did not realize that it was occurring until he found himself becoming more aware. He finally realized that he was alive and breathing when he felt how heavy he was and that he was warm. But he did not have the strength to do more than observe his status and so slept for an unknown amount of time. Finally, Ecthelion felt aware enough to push for consciousness and opened his eyes little by little, allowing his eyes to adjust to the near blinding sunlight that was flooding his surroundings slowly before he worked to focus. He turned his head slightly and felt his hand being squeezed, informing him that he was not alone. He opened his eyes once more and searched for the source of his comfort, a faint smile coming to his lips as his gaze landed upon the joy filled face of his kinsman. He opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped with a gentle finger on his dry lips as Erestor leaned in. His eyes fluttered closed as the finger was replaced by soft lips, breathing warm air into him as he tilted his head up to connect them fully.

They parted after a minute and he reopened his eyes to gaze deeply into Erestor’s eyes as the Peredhel sat down on the edge of his bed. He allowed for his head to be lifted up and supported as a cool glass of water was placed at his lips, urging him to drink deeply of the welcome liquid before he was laid back down onto the pillow. He sighed quietly as he rested before looking over at Erestor again. “Why...am I alive?” he finally whispered hoarsely as he squeezed the fingers that held his own.

“That is a miracle that we thought you might be able to explain to us,” Erestor replied teasingly as he grinned before shifting on the bed so that he was laying out half on the bed and half on Ecthelion so that they were touching as much as possible. He wrapped his arm around Ecthelion’s shoulders as he smiled gently before tucking Ecthelion close to him. He sighed quietly as Ecthelion nuzzled close to him, comforting them both as they just snuggled in silence.

After a bit, Ecthelion murmured softly, “I do not know how I survived, but I am free. I do not feel him within my heart anymore.” His shoulders began to tremble as he brought his arms up to hold Erestor as tightly as he could while he wept in relief and joy. Erestor’s arms tightened around him as loving words were whispered in his ear, causing him to cry even harder in joy as he realized that he was able to be with Erestor in freedom. An unsure amount of time passed before he calmed down and found himself resting within his lover’s hold, feeling peace wash over him for the first time since he had been changed.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted their peaceful repose and they both looked over slowly to see that they were being watched by a grinning Elrond. Erestor carefully disentangled himself from Ecthelion and sat up, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment as the other Peredhel came over to the reawakened Elf’s bedside. “It is good to see you awake, Lord Ecthelion,” Elrond stated warmly as he sat in the chair by the bed. “How do you feel?”

“Like I have been given a new life,” Ecthelion replied quietly as he lay back on the pillows that were supporting him. His eyes were soft with joy as he smiled, but the light did not last as he gazed at Elrond. “I could not fight it, my Lord. It was the darkest and longest night of the year...” he whispered as tears came to his eyes in shame. He was stopped by a gentle hand on his hand and he gazed at the Peredhel Lord with sorrow and apology.

“You were not the one who attacked us. That creature is now dead. Sauron no longer has a handhold within the Elven people and it is because of your strength that we can rest a little more easily in these uncertain times,” Elrond answered kindly as he squeezed the hand that he held. He smiled encouragingly as Ecthelion looked up at him in hope and nodded. “You are free to live your life now, Ecthelion. Live it with everything in you,” he suggested before standing and, after another smiling nod to them both, left them alone.

Sighing softly as he closed his eyes, Ecthelion smiled tearfully before opening his watery eyes to look at his lover. “Will you stay with me, Erestor?” he asked huskily as he squeezed the hand that cupped his own.

“For as long as you will have me, melethen,” (my love) Erestor replied just as huskily as his own tears welled up to choke him. He leaned over closer to hug his lover to him, overjoyed at being able to hold his lover when he had feared the loss of his beloved not very long ago. But his bliss was suddenly clouded as he remembered one who would also be affected by Ecthelion’s return to life.

Glorfindel.

Sensing his lover’s sudden reticence, Ecthelion brushed his hand along Erestor’s back. “What is wrong?” he whispered softly before he laid back onto the pillows once more, looking up at the Peredhel in concern. His concern rose as Erestor avoided his gaze and he brushed his hand along Erestor’s arm in an effort to gain his lover’s attention.

Erestor continued to gaze down at his hands before he finally whispered, “Glorfindel knows of what we did the night of the Solstice.” Silence greeted his revelation for a few minutes before he finally took courage and looked over. Ecthelion’s eyes were wide with horror within his pale face and Erestor suddenly felt worried that he had pushed the limits of Ecthelion’s returned health. He reached over immediately and laced their hands together tightly as he explained. “He saw the mark on my neck that you left in our passion. His...he was...”

“He was finally aware of how you felt when you saw the same thing the night Gondolin fell.” Glorfindel’s voice startled them both as he came into the room, having been informed by Elrond of his former lover’s return to consciousness. His blue eyes were soft with welcome and understanding as he came over to them, but they grew saddened as Ecthelion looked away almost immediately. He sought out Erestor’s gaze, but saw that he was denied that option as well when he instead found himself staring at the back of Erestor’s head. He sighed quietly as he stood at the edge of the bed, watching them sadly. Perhaps his hopes were not as he had thought they would be. “I see that I have come at a bad time. I shall come later,” he whispered, swallowing hard on the sudden tears of hopelessness that welled up within his throat as he turned and left the room silently.

Looking up with a soft sniffle, Ecthelion watched Glorfindel leave before closing his eyes tightly on his tears. “Erestor...I...please go. I need to be alone,” he whispered shakily as his tears broke free. Looking up in shock, Erestor stared silently at his lover before looking down and standing. He left the room quickly, leaving Ecthelion alone in the room. Bringing a shaky hand up to his mouth, Ecthelion gave into his need to weep, letting his tears fall as sobs shook his body anew. His other arm wrapped around his waist as he cried, no longer joyful as his despair at what had happened swept over him. He did not know how to fix what had been done, but knew in his heart that he had to figure something out soon or else he might lose all he had fought for. And that was something he could not accept.

TBC

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