Chapter Thirteen

{Eregion, Quellë 2 TA (approx. end October)}

The journey was both a mix of tension and reevaluations. Much of the tension came from the soldiers who despised Ecthelion and Ecthelion’s own continuing agitation. He had at first been unable to understand what was wrong with him, but then had seen why as he had looked up at the sky one clear night near the end of their journey through the Hithaiglin. The moon was nearing its last phase. In four days it would be the new moon. Terrified that he would lose control, he had almost left at that moment, but had been stopped by Erestor. He had shakily explained what was troubling him vaguely, keeping some of the details as cloudy as possible so his shame and condition could be kept hidden, but it had been enough to concern his kinsman.

After the revelation, Erestor had taken to staying with him at night. For some strange reason that neither seemed willing to question, the Peredhel’s presence seemed to calm Ecthelion’s baser needs to kill and he would sleep a bit easier at night. However, as the new moon drew near, his instincts grew as well. With luck though, they had made it through the snowy peaks and ended up camping out in the foothills of the Hithaiglin bordering Eregion by that time, thus giving him a way to go into a forest and give in freely to the pull of the new moon.

That night, his mind was filled with darkness and a whispering voice that urged him to return and kill the group, but he ignored it in his efforts to be free for the night. He returned just before dawn and climbed into bed next to Erestor, curling up around him in an effort to realize his Elven self once more. Erestor woke at the movements and added presence and so held him close in turn, just allowing Ecthelion to breathe in his kinsman’s scent to ground himself. They both fell into reverie after a while, comforted by the other’s presence. What Ecthelion could not understand was the extreme sense of warmth and love he bore his kinsman. It was almost equal to the love he bore Glorfindel, yet was untainted by the hatred and betrayal he had suffered through so long ago. Unwilling to think on it as he fell asleep, he pushed it aside for later perusal.

But the morning preparations took away from his need to think as they set out once more mid morning, all becoming excited in the thought that they would be home within a few days even with the cloudy skies that balefully watched over them on their journey. Keeping close to the foothills, they traveled during the day, winding through the hilly forests along well traveled paths that signified their use. Ecthelion did not speak of what he had done the other night, but he had vague memories of killing foul creatures, the action itself giving him great glee. He kept silent through most of the day, yet knew that he was not unobserved as Erestor, Elrond, and Glorfindel seemed to take turns giving him worried looks throughout the journey.

It was after lunch when he was finally confronted and was startled when it was Glorfindel who did so. He was riding along in the rear of the group when Glorfindel sidled his steed up alongside his own. He shied away as he looked up in surprise before looking away quickly, his face becoming shuttered. “What do you want?” he asked quietly, flatly as he stared down at his hands as they clenched within the reins.

“You have been distracted worse than usual since your return this morn. Is something bothering you?” Glorfindel asked quietly as he kept his gaze ahead, seemingly just as uncomfortable as his former lover at the proximity. The air almost crackled with the tension and uneasiness that rose between them, making them both very on edge.

“Even if there was, I would not tell you,” Ecthelion hissed out as he turned a venomous glare onto the golden haired Elf before looking down again, grinding his teeth as the silence fell onto them in a stifling blanket. Glorfindel did not reply, but his jaw could be seen tightening as he swallowed his frustration. Thus they were both surprised when Ecthelion said, “I remember vaguely killing Orcs last night. I think we are being followed.”

Blinking in surprise, Glorfindel looked over at Ecthelion and they locked eyes. Time seemed to slow down as they searched the other’s gaze for something of which neither could rightly describe. They found their souls reaching for the other in longing, but a sudden darkness in Ecthelion’s mind pulled him back with a gasp and they broke eye contact, startled. Glorfindel reached over as Ecthelion swayed and expected to be shrugged off. When it did not happen, he took advantage of it and caressed the firm shoulder and arm as he calmed Ecthelion down. “Are you all right?” he asked softly in concern as confused grey blue eyes focused on him again as he watched his former lover.

“A-Aye I...I am. I...I was just dizzy,” Ecthelion answered unsteadily before gently removing Glorfindel’s hand from his shoulder. “Thank you for...not letting me fall,” he mumbled as he looked down at his hands almost immediately, uncomfortable with what had transpired between them.

“I would never let you fall if I could, Ecthelion,” Glorfindel replied quietly as he watched the dark haired Elf intently as his hand returned to his reins. When the grey blue eyes returned to his, he smiled softly. “One day, I hope you will remember that, melethen,” (my love) he added softly before kneeing his horse a bit and moving ahead, leaving a very confused and startled Ecthelion watching him. He felt a strange sense of hope kindle within his heart as he remembered the sense of being together with Ecthelion and the mirrored love he had seen briefly within the grey blue orbs. He knew then that he would not give up until Ecthelion was his once more.

But his ruminations were scattered as a shout of warning went up from the point scout. “Orcs!! Orcs are coming!” was shouted as the scout rode in swiftly, his sword already bloody with Orc blood as he rode just ahead of a group of shrieking Orcs who were obviously using the foul weather to their advantage in their ambush.

“Defend yourselves!” Glorfindel roared in command as they took out their swords in preparation for battle before he suddenly realized that Ecthelion did not have a blade. He wheeled his horse around and saw, to his shock and horror, that Ecthelion was surrounded by several Orcs who were slashing at him as his horse reared and fought back. Glorfindel let loose a battle cry as he charged Asfaloth towards the group, slashing at the attackers and quickly joined by Elrond on the other side. He saw that he had been wrong to assume that Ecthelion was unarmed as he took note of the bloodied claws as they slashed through the throats of the nearest attackers before gripping the reins. He followed after Ecthelion as the other Elf jumped his steed over the Orcs, then blinked in surprise as his former lover leapt off of his horse. He watched in amazement, and almost was killed for his lapse in attention, as Ecthelion rippled into his panther form, snarling as he attacked the Orcs that came at him. Regaining his attention quickly, Glorfindel defended himself, but was awed at the prowess of his former lover. Such strength was incredible to watch.

A scream of agony rang out from near the others and Ecthelion was suddenly racing through the copse of trees towards the others of their group who were battling desperately. He ripped through the attacking marauders, sending their lifeless bodies flying as he clawed his way through, roaring in challenge. He came upon the fallen Elf and stopped in shock. It was Haenell. The soldier looked up as he held his leg in pain, eyes flaring in challenge before turning to surprise as Ecthelion shifted around and began protecting him. The younger Elf could only watch as Ecthelion defended him savagely from the encroaching Orcs, his powerful jaws and claws ripping out throats or slashing through armor to soft tissue and tossing them aside as he battled. At last they were free from the Orcs and Ecthelion turned to Haenell, panting heavily with his exertions as the other Elves worked to finish the last of the Orcs off and take stock of who was injured.

Drawing back in fear as Ecthelion prowled forward, Haenell’s eyes widened in fear as he stared up at the fearsome creature that had just saved his life. Suddenly, the features shifted and turned to Elven as Ecthelion gazed at him before looking at the leg wound. Haenell cried out and hissed in pain as the wound was pressed together before being sucked on by Ecthelion’s blood covered lips, pulling out the poison that was threatening to spread. He watched in astonishment as the poison was removed before the sound of tearing cloth was heard. He looked up to see that Ecthelion had torn strips from his own mangled tunic and was packing some moss into the wound to stave off the bleeding before binding it. “Why?” he asked roughly as he watched the determined Elf bandage his wound.

Looking up, Ecthelion studied the other Elf before sitting back and wiping his mouth clean and glancing away. “A life for a life...” was all he said before standing shakily. He helped Haenell to stand and let the soldier lean on him as they went back to where the others were gathering and treating their wounds. Elrond led the stunned soldier to a large rock to check the bandaging, leaving a suddenly wearied Ecthelion alone. Seeing that the others were distracted, he went through the woods until he found a clear pond. Stripping, he went immediately into the water and began washing the stains of blood from his hands and face. His face was cold and emotionless as he scrubbed himself nearly raw. He blinked in surprise when gentle hands suddenly stopped his rough actions and he looked up into the eyes of his kinsman. “Erestor...” he whispered softly, his voice rough with sudden emotion before he was gathered into Erestor’s strong arms.

“You saved Haenell and Elrond believes that he will be able to keep his leg. Glorfindel told me and Elrond that you had most likely killed the advance party the other night. We owe you our lives...” Erestor whispered soothingly into Ecthelion’s ear as he rubbed the strong trembling back in gentle circles, easing away the sorrow.

“I did not want anyone to see me as that. They will think me even more a monster,” Ecthelion murmured miserably as he held onto his kinsman tightly, burying his face within the strong and, as he finally realized, naked shoulder. He registered dimly that Erestor was unclothed as well, but his warring emotions drowned out the little detail as he soaked in the comfort that was most likely going to end soon. He would surely not be allowed near any civilized Elven realm now...

“Nay, I think not. I think now they appreciate you even more,” Erestor retorted gently before leaning back and bringing Ecthelion’s face up so they were eye-to-eye. “You are no monster. You are my kin and I love you still,” he added firmly, smiling as Ecthelion’s eyes lit up in pleasure at the affirmations.

“I love you as well. I am glad that we were brought together,” Ecthelion responded warmly before they hugged tightly again, this time out of gratitude. They parted and left the pool, dressing in silence before returning to the temporary camp that had been made to treat the injured. Ecthelion ducked his head as he felt all of the stares upon him, not daring to see the contempt he knew to be aimed at him as he went over to his horse, who had also escaped unscathed. He looked up and smiled slightly as Elrond gazed at him sternly. “I am fine, my Lord. I took no injury,” he said softly in reassurance, smiling a little more as Elrond smiled in relief, relaxing. But his good humor did not last as he heard a couple of grumbles near to him that were not exactly quiet.

“Not injured...just like a beast to escape unscathed...”

“I bet he led these Orcs to us...”

He stiffened in both shock and hurt and looked over to see two of the sentries sneering at him in disgust. He saw Glorfindel all but bristling with umbrage as he stalked over, but it was someone else that gave the rebuttal, stunning them all. “You insult an *Elf Lord* who just saved many of our lives! Your words show no honor!” They all stared as Haenell hobbled over, leaning heavily on a makeshift crutch as he made his way over to the shocked Ecthelion. Stopping in front of Ecthelion, Haenell bowed his head, knowing everyone present was watching them intently. “I beg pardon for what I have said and done to you in the past few weeks, my Lord Ecthelion. What you did today, you did not have to do. You opened my eyes to how wrong I was to ever judge you. You are no beast, but t'was I who was worse than an animal in my vengeance,” he declared firmly before looking up. “I hope that I may one day repay you for what you did for me today.”

Touched, Ecthelion hesitantly brought up a hand and placed it firmly on Haenell’s shoulder, smiling slightly. “No forgiveness need be sought. We are equal in our wrongs and are now square. I look forward to becoming....friends,” he answered softly, his smile widening in response to Haenell’s smile and nod. Haenell then stepped back and went over to his horse to prepare to leave, for they still had many hours to go before sunset. A respective silence fell over the group as they watched Haenell and Ecthelion before the quiet bustle of preparations filled the air. No one said much on what had happened with either the ambush or the reconciliation, but many knew that things had changed. Ecthelion had gained respect where there had been none and it could only improve the situations that were sure to rise up.

They stopped just a little after dark, setting up camp near a cave for protection. Erestor and Elrond went into the woods to find some more herbs, since the Elf Lord’s stash of herbs had been exhausted earlier with treating the wounds that many of them had received. They had luckily not had any fatalities, but the attack had indeed slowed their return to Imladris. Ecthelion went into his tent and laid out onto the bed, fatigued from both the other night and from the battle earlier on, but his mind was a jumble of thoughts and not letting him go to sleep. The thought that stuck out the most was surprisingly not Haenell and his reconciliation, but the moment with Glorfindel. He ran it over in his mind as he stared up at the top of his tent, unthinkingly letting it meld with the memory of being held by Erestor in the pond.

He sighed heavily and turned onto his side, troubled as he realized just what his mind had done. He had found solace within Erestor’s arms, feeling an emotion that he also labeled with his feelings for Glorfindel: love. He had meant it when he had said that he loved Erestor, but he only now realized that what he had meant was a far deeper emotion than he knew it should be. Confused, he examined the emotion and compared it with the love he bore for Glorfindel and found them almost the same in intensity within his heart. But he was kin to Erestor! He should not have such feelings for Erestor! But somehow, that thought did not have as much power as he felt it should have. He felt safe with Erestor and drew strength from the quiet certainty that the other Elf looked upon him with. However, he knew that he could not allow such feelings be known and, since the new moon was farther away now, he did not have such uncontrollable urges as he had had the past week. Resolved, he knew that he would work to be less intense with his love, for he knew he could not destroy it. If love were so easy to be rid of, then he would have rid himself of his love for both Glorfindel and Turgon centuries ago.

Determined, he relaxed into sleep finally as he let the soothing sounds of the others talking outside of his tent put him into a deep reverie. He would need his strength for the next few days.

TBC

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