Chapter Eleven

{Lothlórien and Imladris, Quellë 2 TA (approx. beg October)}

Pain. Icy pain that turned into fire raced through his veins as Ecthelion fought the poison that was destroying his body. He cried out in delirium, screaming of fire in Gondolin one instant before crying for the Men and Dwarves he had had to kill in his ‘service’ to Sauron. He woke a couple of times but had been so delusional as to be incoherent while weeping for the Elf he had killed that one time in the South Downs. There were several times when he was held down in his pain before finally being drugged into a nightmare filled world where Sauron taunted him and he was stalked by his other self.

But soon, it faded as a gentle voice urged him back into the light, the pain lessening slowly as tender hands cooled his feverish brow. After several days of fiery agony, he woke slowly to find that he was cool and lucid, able to see and know people who appeared before him as he woke. He blinked slowly, wetting his eyes carefully as he struggled to break through the healing fog that was in his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but found his mouth like cloth and dry, earning a grimace from him as he worked to swallow down something so he could speak.

A gentle hand cupped his face and he looked up into a masculine face that was kind and gentle, yet serious as well. He opened his mouth as he felt a cup touch his lips and cool liquid washed down his dry throat. He moaned happily and swallowed down the soothing fluid greedily until it was pulled away, earning a whimper of protest from him, which in turn elicited a chuckle from his caregiver. He lay back on the pillows and studied the Elf before him, noting the Peredhel ears and the startling resemblance to Eärendil. “You...are...Elrond?” he managed after a few tries, though it was more of a croak and he grimaced yet again.

Chuckling slightly, Elrond nodded as he sat back. “I am glad to see that you are recovering, Lord Ecthelion. Many will be relieved, most especially your kinsman Erestor and Lord Glorfindel as well as my betrothed,” he responded warmly, though he frowned slightly as he saw the icy shadow that passed over the Elf Lord’s gaze at the mention of Glorfindel. “How do you feel?” he asked after he shook himself slightly. It was probably nothing...

“Tired and...filthy...” Ecthelion replied with a disgusted look as he took time to take stock of his condition. “I am still sore in my shoulders, but nothing more. I thank you,” he added as he looked up at the Half Elf.

“No thanks are needed. I am only glad to help one who saved my kin in the fall of Gondolin and who is also so close with two of my closest Advisors,” Elrond responded with a gentle smile. “Though you had me very worried. You were very close to Mandos’ Halls for a while there just after I came.”

“Námo has rejected me more times than I can count. It will take far more than an Orc blade to kill me,” Ecthelion stated bitterly as he glared down at his feet. He turned his face away with a sigh. “I still think you should have let me die though,” he murmured quietly.

“Because of what you are?” Elrond guessed correctly as he watched the Elf Lord before him. When no answer came forth, he sighed and frowned darkly. “Ecthelion, if I may be frank, you had no control over what hap-“

“You do not know what happened, Elrond, so do not try to patronize me!” Ecthelion snarled as he looked over at the Peredhel, his eyes blazing almost ferally. He trembled and looked away. “You could never know and I pray you never do know what I have endured because of what is in my heart,” he whispered hoarsely as his fingers clenched tightly within the sheets of the bed. Suddenly, he wanted to be away from there. He shifted to a sitting position slowly and began to move his legs over so that he could place them on the ground.

“Wait...you should not move like this...” Elrond ordered as he stood immediately and went to the other side, stopping Ecthelion. He was shaken off by an angry swipe of the Elf’s hand and a snarl from the pale lips and watched as Ecthelion stood bit by bit, taking his time from the obvious pain that was still within him. “You must stay in bed!” Elrond commanded as he grabbed the stubborn Elf in an effort to push him down again.

“Take your hands off of me!!” Ecthelion suddenly screamed as he pushed Elrond away and stumbled to the side, off-balance. He braced himself as Elrond caught himself on the footboard of the bed, and then began moving towards the door. He had to escape! They were after him!

Suddenly, a golden haired figure rushed in followed by another dark haired Elf. “Elrond? Is everything all ri-Ecthelion! You must stay in bed!” Glorfindel cried as he strode forward.

Snarling, Ecthelion’s eyes glowed golden and slitted as he raised a suddenly clawed hand, startling Glorfindel and Erestor to a halt as he glared balefully at them. “Do not touch me, oath breaker! I am going away from you all now!” Ecthelion growled out in rage as he bared his fangs at his former lover, stunning the Seneschal with his ferocity.

“Ecthelion...I did not betray you! Why will you not believe me?!” Glorfindel cried in anguish as he reached for his lover, but stepped back to avoid the slash that was aimed in retaliation.

“I know what I saw!” Ecthelion shouted back furiously as tears rolled down his pale cheeks from his golden eyes. “I know what I see now! Stay away from me you faithless oaf! I loved you with everything in me and you betray me not once, but twice now!!” he screamed, his voice rising in his hysterics as he trembled, glaring at Erestor from over Glorfindel’s shoulder.

“What are you speaking of?! Twice? I have not betrayed you in this Age!” Glorfindel retorted angrily as he glared at his love.

“So you admit to your first betrayal at least,” Ecthelion whispered softly, his voice heartbreakingly quiet as he gazed at Glorfindel. Glorfindel looked away, his cheeks flushed with shame, but he could not deny what had been admitted. Heartbroken yet again, Ecthelion turned away and went towards the other door that was nearby as fast as he could. But a hand with a cloth was pressed over his mouth, startling him. He roared as he fought the strong arm around his waist frantically, panicking with the thought that he was back once more in Mordor and it was Sauron now trying to take him yet again. But slowly, his world darkened and he became limp as the powerful anesthetic kicked in, knocking him out cold. He was carried back to the bed and tucked back in before Elrond silently ordered the other two out with him.

Celebrían came into the room and, after a quick look from Elrond, went over to Ecthelion’s bedside. She took his hand and began to watch over him while her betrothed took his advisors to another place to discuss what had happened.

They met up with Celeborn on the way out and he led them to a private branch off of his talan where Galadriel was awaiting them patiently. They had heard the disturbance even there and were most put out by it. Once in the room, Glorfindel sank into a chair numbly while Erestor went over to a window to stare out over the forest. Elrond began pacing slowly as the other two rulers sat in their own chairs, watching the three Elves worriedly. Elrond finally stopped and turned on Glorfindel. “What does he mean by the betrayal? What happened?” he demanded angrily, more upset for Ecthelion then his dear friend mainly because Ecthelion was still recovering.

Drawing a deep breath, Glorfindel took note that Erestor had also turned to watch him and felt worried by the strangely blank gaze that was in his friend’s eyes. “About three centuries before the loss of Gondolin, Turgon and I...began to have an affair. At the time, I was heavily committed to Ecthelion, and he I, but I never stopped loving him or being committed to him! But, with Turgon, it was like we were complete and we both knew that we had to have Ecthelion with us to do it. But we...put it off. And then, the night we vowed to tell Ecthelion was the night when our lives ended. I...I do not know how he found out, but when we were in Mandos’ Halls, Námo declared that we would not see him because he knew. Then later, I tried to speak to him before he was reborn, but he...cursed me,” he explained in a low voice as he stared down at his hands, feeling the pain of having hurt his lover so much wash over him in sickening waves.

“And what is this about Erestor? Why was he so sure that you had betrayed him yet again with his own kinsman?” Elrond asked icily as he glared at his Seneschal, not at all pleased with how his friend had acted.

“I have no idea on that Elrond, I swear it! Erestor is my dear friend and I would not ever break that friendship to hurt Ecthelion again!” Glorfindel declared as he stood up, upset in his own right at being so accused.

“I think I may know how,” Galadriel said softly, earning their immediate attention as she sat next to her husband. She tilted her head as she stared into the distance and smiled sadly. “Erestor looks very much like Ecthelion, do you not think so?” she said instead after a while of silence.

“What does that have to-oh dear...” Elrond stopped in mid-rant as he gazed over at Erestor, eyes wide with understanding.

“Explain it to me, if you do not mind,” Glorfindel urged Elrond irritably as he glared at the dismayed Elves.

“When he saw us on that night...he must have seen how close you and I had become and thought that, since I look so much like him, he was being replaced,” Erestor answered softly as he gazed at Glorfindel solemnly, seeing the dawning horror in his friend’s eyes as it all clicked together.

“That was why he had retreated...” Glorfindel whispered softly as he looked down at his hands yet again in shock. “That was why he had even attacked you...”

“There is much darkness within Ecthelion. He is right to say that he is indeed not safe, yet he is far safer than he realizes,” Celeborn said quietly as he looked at them all. He focused on Elrond and tilted an eyebrow delicately. “Will you take him to Imladris and help him break free of the spell? I believe that being around his kinsman will aid him in healing, though he will deny it,” he suggested gently as he smiled over at Erestor.

“Aye I will. Erestor, I think you should also visit with Ecthelion and try to establish an understanding so that at least this small misunderstanding can be put to ease,” Elrond proposed as he laced his hands together before his abdomen.

Bowing his head in agreement, Erestor smiled back. “I will do so. I have wanted to be with my kinsman for many years now. I hope that our relationship at least will heal,” he answered before going towards the doorway. “I think I shall go now and sit with him so that when he wakes, we can talk while he is still groggy,” he added with a wink, earning some chuckles from the others.

Glorfindel continued to stare at his hands in dismay, but then looked up as a gentle hand placed itself on his shoulder. “Elrond, what am I going to do? I love him so much, yet he despises the very sight of me,” he whispered in despair.

“Have faith, meldiren. I am sure that we shall find a way for you to finally break through the wall that Ecthelion has around his heart,” (my dear friend) Elrond murmured in reply as he patted the strong shoulder comfortingly. “Come, we must make preparations to leave in a week’s time. I do not wish to tarry here longer than is necessary,” he stated with a grin.

“Tiring of your future in laws already?” Celeborn commented dryly as he winked at them before standing with his wife. “I shall assist you, Elrond...Glorfindel. My wife must now attend a meeting with the women,” he stated, earning a giggle from Galadriel.

“You should come someday, my husband! I think you would be very good at crocheting!” Galadriel retorted, grinning as Celeborn rolled his eyes while the other two laughed in amusement at their bantering. They all hoped things would work out.

*~*~*

{A day later, mid-morning, Lothlórien}

A soft groan left the throat of Ecthelion as he woke up and found once more that his mouth was drier than a bone and as thick as wool as he tried to focus on where he was. Once again, cool water was offered to him and he greedily drank of it, holding the hand steadying the cup close so he could drink as much as he could, much to the amusement of his helper. He fell back against his pillows and looked up to see that his assistant was none other than his kinsman Erestor. He blinked slowly, still too dazed to think or react as he knew he should, so instead he just asked, “What are you doing here?” Only, since the drug was slurring his words, it sounded more like, “’at a’ youh doin’ ‘ere?”

Smiling gently at the dazed Elf, Erestor sat closer and took Ecthelion’s hand into his own carefully. “I have been waiting for you to wake up,” he answered softly, smiling again at the look of confusion that warred with the touch of anger within the blue grey eyes. “We have much to talk about, starting with your misconceptions of me and Glorfindel,” he continued lightly as he stroked the pale hand soothingly.

“We have nothing to discuss,” was the short reply as Ecthelion looked away, but the stroking on his hand urged him to return his gaze, as unsteady as it was, back to Erestor.

“I know you are angry with Glorfindel and I do not blame you. But please understand...there is nothing romantic between him and me. We are only good friends as well as co-workers for Elrond, that is all,” Erestor retorted gently, drawing on his wells of patience to deal with his stubborn kin. He leaned his head in and caught Ecthelion’s gaze again, smiling. “He has ever had eyes and hopes for you, Ecthelion. All he would ever speak of in love was you. In truth, I did not know what he had done to you until two days ago.” He grinned impishly, surprising Ecthelion. “I must admit to wanting to slap him silly after I heard of what he had done, but I felt you were more important,” he admitted, grinning more as Ecthelion’s eyes sparkled with some hint of amusement as well as tears.

Looking away as he became more focused, Ecthelion sighed quietly as he stared out the window. “I still love him, you know. I long for him like the night longs for the day. Yet forever do I see him kissing Turgon while in battle with a tenderness that was always, I thought, for me. But, I would wish for him to save me on the nights that Sauron’s torment was too much for me. And then I would curse him and plan for how I could hurt him in as many ways as possible as he had hurt me,” he whispered softly in confession, stunning Erestor into silence with his words.

A gentle touch to his chin caused him to look back towards his kin and he smiled with all the sorrow that was welling up within him in the aftermath of his confession. He was however unprepared for the arms that came up behind him to pull him towards the strong chest of the Advisor. Once berthed within the warm haven in those arms, he felt his resolve crumble and gave into his tears, allowing his pain to pour out in salty wet streaks down his cheeks as Erestor rubbed his back tenderly while rocking him. He felt a gentle calm wash over him after he had spent his tears and he just rested within Erestor’s arms, feeling safe and comforted by the soothing presence. He had not felt so soothed in a long time and he relished it, burying his face in the well-built torso that supported him. He drifted in and out of reverie as they sat as such, exhausted by the emotional upheaval his admission had caused within him.

The next time he woke fully, he realized that he was indeed famished. Erestor had some food ordered in, but was surprised when Ecthelion turned away from it. “Is something wrong?” he asked gently as he put aside the tray that had been brought in.

“I...I can not eat such foods. I...I...” Ecthelion trailed off miserably as he looked up at Erestor with helpless tears. “I...require raw meat and...only some raw vegetables and water,” he whispered in shame as he looked down at his hands.

“Oh...I see. Well, I think we can prepare something for you...” Erestor trailed off as he stood, but stopped as a hand rested on his own. He looked down at his kinsman in worry as the other Elf kept his gaze down.

“Let me roam in the forest and hunt. I promise to return, but I...need what is out there. And...I...I do not wish to disgust you,” Ecthelion murmured softly, not even daring to look up at Erestor as he stated the damning decision.

“You do not disgust me, but only startled me. It is all right. Shall we go?” Erestor answered calmly as he smiled down at the other Elf before aiding Ecthelion to his feet. They went out of the healing talan that had been Ecthelion’s home for the past couple of weeks and down the stairs before heading out into the dense mallorn forest that surrounded and protected the Elven kingdom.

They went deep into the forest before Ecthelion stopped Erestor. “Stay here. I shall return within an hour, I promise,” he commanded softly, smiling at Erestor reassuringly before turning towards the forest. Erestor watched him leave and disappear into the bushes before settling down on a grassy knoll next to a tree. He dozed off in the warm sun in his wait for the return of his kinsman, trusting in Ecthelion to keep his word. After a while, a soft touch to his cheek woke him and he startled awake, looking up into the laughing grey blue eyes of his returned charge. Ecthelion smiled, much more energized than he had been after having eaten, and helped Erestor to his feet. “Hannon le, Erestor. I feel much better now,” (Thank you) Ecthelion whispered in gratitude before they started back to the city.

Returning to the healing talan, they went to Ecthelion’s room and sat near the window, sharing tales about their lives, or rather in Ecthelion’s case, his life in Gondolin. But after a while, Ecthelion began to drift off again into sleep and was carried back to bed by Erestor, whom he snuggled up to in his sleep. Erestor, smiling softly as he held his kinsman, felt the warmth of love within him for the other Elf. What he did not know was that this love was more than it should be.

TBC