Author email: deathangelgw@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tolkien, not me. Though I wouldn’t mind them! ~_^

Warnings: AU, slight OOC, sap, angst, dark, lemon/lime, slash.

Pairings: Elrond/Legolas, hinted Erestor/Glorfindel, Elladan/Haldir, and Elrohir/Rumil

Rating: PG-13

Summary: A time to explore finds new things for a certain Mirkwood prince

Notes: Very sorry for the length of time between posting! The muses LEFT ME! Almost done though! Thanks for the reviews and to MA thanks for the beta! Love ya! Enjoy! Feedback is much loved and appreciated!

‘thoughts’

The days after the arrival of the Elves were filled with passion, apprehension, and worry for Legolas as he struggled within himself for the strength to tell his beloved of his decision to remain in Arda until the end of Aragorn's life, all the while aiding in the wedding of his best friend and Arwen. He knew he had to confront his lover on it for Elrond was growing more and more concerned and suspicious with his behavior in that time, for he had not been very subtle in his agitation. It was not unusual for Elrond to inquire on his troubles and, when courage failed his overly encumbered heart, Legolas would only seduce his beloved desperately, wringing away the worry for a brief time with passion.

But it was straining their relationship as well, for both were growing discouraged with the lack of communication going on and neither knew how to confront it truly.  Legolas knew that his love sensed something was wrong, but it did not ease the passage of that confession anymore than Dorwinion wine did for the sturdy. Often he would go and wander the gardens, seeking a way to confront his love with his decision, but unable to discover a gentle way to reveal what promised to be a painful confession. Even the brief celebrations for the wedding and coronation of Aragorn and Arwen as King and Queen of Gondor did nothing to abate his anxiety.

It was thus how he was found on a calm night in Gondor's gardens by the Balrog slayer himself, for he was sitting amidst the growing hyacinth and orchids that were his gift to the newly married couple. He was once more struggling to find a way to tell his beloved what had happened, but his heart was so stormy that he did not hear the approach of his sure footed friend along the cobblestone pathway that wound itself throughout the lush gardens. He was startled from his ruminations as a hand landed on his shoulder and shook him from them in concern. Looking up with wide blue eyes, he was surprised to be caught within the worried gaze of Glorfindel. "G-Glorfindel...I...I did not hear you, meldiren," he whispered in a rush as he stood. He blinked as he was gently pushed back down onto his seat and looked at his friend in confusion. (my dear friend)

"Your thoughts are a maze of confusion and apprehension. What troubles you so that you would deny yourself the company of a certain Peredhel Lord, ernilen?" Glorfindel asked in reply as he sat down next to the younger Elf, his eyes softened with concern as he observed the other Elf. (my prince)

Looking down, Legolas all but wrung his hands as he tried to order his chaotic thoughts. Sighing, he finally stood and wrapped his arms around himself as he paced forlornly before the concerned Seneschal. "I am trying to think of a way to tell Elrond something that I know will hurt him. Yet my courage lacks as well, for I do not wish to hurt him. I do not know what to do!" he whispered desperately before he whirled to face his shocked confidante. "I did something while on the journey that he will surely shun me for! I feel I betrayed his trust by doing this foolhardy act, but I can not back down on my word!"

"Legolas...what have you done?" Glorfindel demanded in shock as he stood up and strode towards his friend, his heart pounding as various scenarios of Legolas being unfaithful paraded through his mind. He gripped the pale Elf's shoulders and shook him. "Speak! Did you betray him so basely?" he hissed out angrily.

Staring up at Glorfindel in astonishment, Legolas trembled under the harsh gaze. "I...I gave my oath to Aragorn to stay by his side should we triumph...until he dies," he revealed finally, his voice hushed with his shame and fear before he bowed his head.

"You...what?" Glorfindel asked in disbelief as he stared at the prince. He had been thinking that Legolas had slept with someone else, but this was an even deeper trouble. "You...you gave an oath to Estel to...serve him until he dies? Why did you do such a thing?" he cried in growing incredulity.

Shrugging out of the hold, Legolas pulled away as he started pacing once more in agitation. "I know not what came over me, Glorfindel! I swear it! But we were in Moria and it was looking so grim! I thought that if I could encourage my friend to make it through that it would be worth it!"

"Legolas! You fool! Elrond leaves for the West in but a half year! He was expecting you to join him!" Glorfindel replied urgently.

"H-Half a year? B-But I thought that he...he..." Legolas moaned as he covered his face with his hands, shaking with his sorrow. "I can not tell him! He will be broken!"

Glorfindel watched his young friend before sighing and placing a hand on the young blond's shoulder. "We do not know that. Perhaps I am overreacting. You will not know until you tell him. But Legolas, why did you not think on this before giving such a solemn oath?" he asked gently as he rubbed Legolas' back when the prince turned into him for comfort.

"It was so grim, Glorfindel. And...after saying my oath, I realized that...I had no wish to leave Arda so soon. I knew that, if all was successful, that Elrond would wish to travel West. But I thought he would want to stay. Now, my fears are confirmed, yet I gave my word..." Legolas mumbled sorrowfully into the other blond's chest and he sighed heavily. "I do not wish to lose him."

"I can not foresee what will happen. But you should speak with him afore it is too late," Glorfindel replied encouragingly. He smiled as the young prince leaned back and looked up at him in apprehension. "Go now and unburden your heart to him. You must, for the damage done with secrecy is far greater than any harmful words."

Nodding with sad resignation, Legolas squeezed Glorfindel's shoulders in silent gratitude before heading back towards his chambers and the Elf he loved there. He knew not if he could do this almost impossible deed, but knew that he had to. In all of his time with the Fellowship, never had he felt so daunted and terrified.

As he made his way back towards his rooms, his feet began to drag ever so slowly until he came to a grudging stop in front of his compartments' doors. He stared up in apprehension at their dark oak standing, swallowing hard as he searched the grain for some sign that only his conscience knew of.  Feeling his heart sink at the lack of encouragement he found within the imposing blockade, he pushed open the solid oak door to his right and walked in unhurriedly. His blue gaze took in his surroundings with rapid flicks from side to side as he went inside before he shut the door behind him with a resounding click. Turning, he stalked in as if on the hunt, his stance crouched lower than his normal proud stance as he searched for the source of his quest.

He came to a stop at the entrance to his bedroom and felt his heart lurch as he saw his prey spread out on the bed, naked as the day he had been born with his ebony hair spread about him in a midnight spray that accentuated his pale skin and nigh glowing grey eyes that had locked with his own blue the instant they saw each other. Swallowing hard at the luscious sight before him, Legolas crept into the room as his fingers came up to his tunic and unlaced it unthinkingly. A knowing smile came to Elrond's lips as he watched the nimble fingers loosen the fitted tunic before slipping the silky fabric off of the golden body and tossing it to the side in disregard.

But the knowledge of what he had to say stopped the archer from continuing in his show, rocking him as it slammed into him with the force of an Orc's club as he realized what had nearly happened to distract him from what needed to be said. He swallowed hard as he saw the smile slip from Elrond's lips in both concern and disappointment as shame filled his heart and closed his throat on the words that would separate them for either a century...or forever.

Knowing he had to speak, Legolas wrapped his arms around his chest as he trembled, struggling to find the courage to say what he needed to while his face turned itself from the beloved sight before him. He heard the rustle of the sheets as Elrond slowly sat up and shifted off of the bed. The near silent sound of feet on warmed stone lasted the few seconds it took for the Peredhel to come to Legolas and a gentle hand brought up Legolas' face so that their gazes could lock once more. Elrond searched the younger Elf's eyes silently before suddenly leaning in and brushing his lips over Legolas', inviting more than just the brief touch of lips as he slid his tongue along the dry lips of the archer's mouth. He absorbed the soft moan that flitted out of Legolas as he wrapped his arms around the youth's waist and pulled them together, melding them perfectly as their kiss deepened. Legolas knew then that he couldn't avoid things any longer.

Gently, he pulled away, kissing away the pout of disappointment that formed on the swollen lips before looking into Elrond's grey eyes. "We must speak, melethen vorn," he whispered thickly and swallowed hard at the concern that came to Elrond's gaze. (my dark love)

"What is wrong, lassen valthen?" Elrond whispered tenderly as he reached for Legolas to pull them closer, but he was denied as Legolas began to pace again. (my golden leaf)

Legolas felt hollow inside as he mustered up his courage before facing his beloved once more. "I have made...a decision that was...a serious error in judgment and yet I knew I did it at the time to make sure our Quest succeeded," he started shakily and stopped as his courage faltered yet again. He panted a bit and squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Elrond's stare becoming questioning and more than a little fearful. "I pledged to Aragorn that I would serve him until the end of his days if we won the War," he finally declared and curled in a bit as silence slammed over them in the aftershock of his declaration.

The silence continued for a few minutes before Legolas dared to look up and his heart began to wail when he saw the shuttered mask on Elrond's face. He instinctively reached for Elrond and whimpered when Elrond stepped away from him coldly, his eyes hiding any of his emotions to the one who loved him most. "Elrond...melethen vorn-" he pleaded but was cut off as a bitter laugh escaped from the Peredhel Lord.

"Do not go giving me such pet names when you tear my heart out with your foolish words!" Elrond spat out, his venomous words tearing even more into Legolas as they faced off. "You *knew* I would leave at the end of this War! You knew and yet you pledged yourself to Elessar!?" he hissed angrily and Legolas trembled as he saw how his beloved was shaking with both rage and anguish.

"I am not ready to leave Arda!" Legolas blurted out, then covered his mouth as he gasped and could only watch as devastation washed over his beloved before being hastily hidden behind a haughty stature and a cold mask that only those who displeased the usually gentle lord saw.

"Then you have made your choice. Farewell, Legolas Thranduilion," Elrond said softly before going over to where his clothes were laying. He pulled them on silently as Legolas watched him helplessly, unable to even muster up a token argument or plea for understanding as his love...his life...crumbled away before his very eyes. Elrond didn't even look at him as he shrugged on his formal robes and strode from the room. The click of the door shutting filled the room briefly before being snuffed out as the despair resumed its hold.

Sinking to his knees, Legolas curled into a small ball and started weeping as his heart broke into a thousand pieces. For all his good intentions, he had destroyed what mattered most. And he had no idea how he was ever going to make things better.

*~~**~~*

Glorfindel watched Elrond quietly as they saddled their horses and prepared to leave Minas Tirith. He wasn't the only watching the Lord of Imladris as Elladan went over to his father's side and murmured to him. A short shake of the dark head cut off any other questions Elladan would have asked and Glorfindel's concern deepened as well as his despair. He had a feeling he knew what had happened if the cold mask was any indication but he didn't know what he could say. It was between Legolas and Elrond.

Arwen's call broke through the solemn air as she came running down the stairs to where they were readying themselves. Aragorn followed at a more sedate pace, his face grim when he seemed to see the lack of a certain blond archer amidst their group. Arwen went over to her father and hugged him tightly and all watching felt their hearts break as Elrond all but clung to his daughter. His face was still impassive, but his eyes were stormy with emotions that he was repressing. She pulled back and Glorfindel could hear her inquiring on their early departure when they had been slated to stay for a couple more months. He shook his head, not answering her question as he cupped her cheek tenderly and murmured something to her. She grew visibly upset as she shook her head and clutched at the hand against her cheek as she whispered something in return, but Glorfindel knew that she would not find out what had happened.

Aragorn stopped behind Arwen and Glorfindel felt his heart sink when he saw the glare directed at Aragorn by Elrond, the first real sign of emotion that any of them had seen since they had been told of their imminent departure. Aragorn bowed his head and Glorfindel knew then that he had been right in assuming the cause of Elrond's breakdown. He glanced over at Erestor grimly and sighed when he saw the questions within his lover's gaze. It was not for him to say unfortunately so he merely shook his head before finishing his packing. He went over with Erestor to give their farewells to Arwen and Aragorn as well as the twins, who were staying in Minas Tirith for the time being to help their sister and brother in law. They would return to Imladris when it was time for their father's departure to see him off and take over the ruling of Imladris until it was their time to go over as well to the West, most likely after Arwen had passed over.

It was with sad hearts that they embraced the newly crowned King and Queen, but it couldn't be helped. Destinies had been foretold and paths had been taken. For now and for always, they would be parted from the two young ones. Glorfindel wished them the best with his whole heart and if he held Arwen a bit longer than necessary, no one said. With a final farewell, he mounted his steed with Erestor and Elrond and they headed out but when he looked back he saw a solitary figure standing at a window watching them leave. He felt his heart drop as he realized who it was and wondered if the leaf and the wind would be reunited some day.

He prayed so.

TBC