Author: Deathangelgw
Disclaimer: saaaaaaame as always!
Warnings: a bit darker...looking into the dark spots of the
past
Pairings: yea…like I’m changing that anytime soon…
Rating: PG
Note: Aw so sweeeet! Now I have to remember what I’m doing
here -.-;; sheesh…Enjoy! Please Review!
‘thoughts’
The year came and passed swiftly once again, the usual
teasing and ‘fights’ going strong between Sirius and Severus for the school and
James’ benefit. But Sirius was worriedly noticing things that were different in
his boyfriend. Some times…the fights seemed a bit too real.
But he usually brushed it off as his love grew for the
black haired Slytherin. And Severus agreed wholeheartedly. They eventually
became lovers later in their fifth year, stress from the upcoming O.W.Ls making
them let go. Lily, Remus, and Evie took great pleasure in teasing them like
crazy about the happening, but they were pleased as well. Remus also had grown,
as he became a prefect for Gryffindor. But, as the joke went, Evie was the one
that had kept them all in line with Lily’s help.
Another happening had been James finding out about Sirius
and Severus. James had accidentally walked in on Sirius and Severus when they
had been spending time together in the library. Not always something noticed for
they did study a lot together. But he noticed the special looks, recognizing
them as the same he shared with Lily. A bit hurt at first, he confronted them
and had learned that they had been dating for a year and a half. Shocked, James
had then confronted his girlfriend, Evie, and Remus, learning that they had also
known and had kept it a secret.
The group had been strained after that, James’ hurt a
palatable block in their relationships and he found himself escalating the
attacks on Severus out of spite. But it had calmed when Severus had talked to
James privately. No one knew what the two had talked about, but the next day
they were back to almost normal…much to Sirius’ relief.
Now, it was summer again and the gang was relaxing at
James’ house after the elders of the group had taken their O.W.Ls and had passed
with good success, along with Lily and Evie’s end of the year exams. They
focused on being together now, since Pettigrew was on a trip with his family and
Snape could be with them freely. They didn’t, for some reason, tell Pettigrew,
uneasy on his finding out. But they still cared for him…well at least a little.
James smirked at that thought as he sat outside with the
others, relaxing as he watched Evie teach Severus, Lily, and Remus a simple
Muggle child’s game involving a string. She called it ‘Cat’s Cradle’ but none of
them could see how a cat’s cradle would be any fun. But the intricate game that
was evolving was fun to watch and play. He glanced over as he heard Sirius
chuckle when his boyfriend failed to get the next sequence and the group of
players laughed.
The two watchers looked up in concern as the Black family
owl suddenly swooped down and then, after harassing the other owls, dropped a
letter into Sirius’ lap. Sirius frowned darkly as he opened the elaborate seal
on the parchment, then frowned even more as he read it. He sighed and let his
head fall back, looking up at the sky darkly as he let the letter fall onto his
lap. “Hey James?”
“Hmm? Yea Padfoot?” James asked in concern as he watched
his friend worriedly.
“Do you think your parents would mind if I moved in with
you for a while? I mean, at least until I’m old enough to live on my own,”
Sirius asked quietly as he looked at his friend with dark, unreadable eyes.
James blinked in surprise. “Well…sure yea if you want. Let
me check with mums and such,” he replied as he got up, patting his friend on the
shoulder before he ran back to his house.
Sirius smiled reassuringly at his lover as he glanced over
then looked down at the parchment again, frowning darkly. ‘How dare they say
that about them! I’ve had it!’ he thought, feeling hollow inside from empty
rage. He’d stopped having the rage against his blood family since he’d found
himself loving his ‘other’ family: Remus, Lily, James, Evie, and especially
Severus.
His family had constantly ridden his ass about being around
his ‘tainted blood friends’, especially the previous summer when his friends had
stayed over, and they had had an even worse fit when they’d found out he was
dating another young man. Their temper had cooled, amazingly enough, when they
had heard that Sev was a pureblood as well, but that had just about killed it
with his family. Now, they were demanding he come be with ‘his pure family’ and
start acting ‘like a true wizard’. ‘Live my life without any of them? They can
eat cobwebs for all I care!’ he thought angrily, then started as a gentle hand
was laid on his shoulder. He looked up in surprise and found himself smiling as
Mrs. Potter smiled down at him.
“What’s this I hear that you are wanting to stay with us
for longer than normal, Sirius?” Mrs. Potter asked gently and Sirius sighed
sadly. He handed her the parchment as James sat down next to him and they both
watched as her mouth thinned in anger. She smiled warmly at Sirius as she gave
the message back. “You can stay as long as you wish. You are like another son
for us, so there is no bother. James? Will you go with Sirius to get his
things?” she requested with a smile at her son.
“Sure mum! I wouldn’t mind at all!” James replied
cheerfully, and then bounced up as Sirius smiled gratefully at them.
“Hey you two! What’s up?” Lily called as she ran over and
jumped onto James, giggling as he growled and swung her around. Severus was a
bit more subdued, but no less enthusiastic as he came over as well and hugged
Sirius tightly, snuggling close. Remus and Evie sauntered over slowly, talking
quietly about something as they came over.
“Eh, nothing much. Just going to get something taken care
of with Padfoot. We should get going,” James suggested as Sirius nodded
silently.
Severus looked up at Sirius in worry as Lily, Evie, and
Remus went inside with Mrs. Potter for some tea and crumb cake. “Are you sure
everything is ok?” he asked softly as he brushed his fingers through Black’s
hair lovingly.
Sirius smiled softly and kissed Snape’s fingers delicately.
“I’ll tell ya later. Go on in…we’ll be back shortly,” he murmured soothingly,
then kissed his love gently before letting Severus go inside. With a nod at
James, they then Apparated to Grimmauld Place.
*~~**~~*
“I’m sorry you had to see that, Prongs.” Sirius’ soft voice
startled James as they put Sirius’ stuff away in the guestroom he’d be staying
in. The others were outside, gazing at the stars from Evie’s telescope. James
watched his best friend put away his stuff slowly, face hidden in shadow. “I’m
not very proud of my family…you didn’t deserve that shit thrown at you.”
“Hey…it’s ok. I was there for you, not for the show. It’s
not my fault they have to be that way and I’m glad you’re leaving it. You and
Sev will be much happier,” James replied soothingly as he came over and put a
comforting hand on Sirius’ arm. “Besides…we’ll get to hang out even more and
such! And it’s not like you don’t spend as much time here as at Remus’ and
Sev’s!” he stated with a grin.
Sirius grinned back slightly. “Yea…you’re right.” He sighed
and looked at his new room. “Well…that’s everything. Come on…let’s go watch the
stars with them,” he suggested with a smile as he straightened.
“You bet!” James responded happily as he put Sirius’ trunk
away. They went downstairs to the yard and joined their friends and loved ones,
taking comfort in each other.
Later that night, Sirius was lying in his new bed, staring
up at the ceiling as he relaxed. He glanced over as he heard the door click shut
and smiled as he saw a pale figure walk silently over, black eyes wide with
worry and love. “Hey you…what took you so long?” he whispered as he scooted to
the side and pulled back the covers so Severus could join him.
Chuckling softly as he slid fluidly between the sheets,
Snape snuggled close. “Well…had to wait for Mrs. Potter to get to bed and for
Remus to fall asleep. Though I think he pulled the same as me, just with Evie
coming in,” he replied with a smirk.
Sirius chuckled as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend
and nuzzled his face into the soft hair. He loved Severus’ hair, though he did
‘tease’ him about it looking so oily. But in truth, Severus’ hair was as soft
and clean as anyone else’s. It just had a special shine to it, making it appear
oily. Sirius adored it though and took whatever opportunity he could to run his
fingers through it, feeling its softness and inadvertently soothing his love.
“Are you going to tell me now what happened? You’ve been
quiet since you got back,” Severus asked softly as he snuggled closer; eyes
drifting shut as Sirius ran loving fingers through his dark hair.
Sighing softly, Sirius held his love close. “I…was
disowned. My parents sent this really nasty note and I…well I asked Mrs. Potter
if I could stay with her until I could get a place of my own,” he explained
quietly, nuzzling the soft hair with a sigh. He smiled as he felt Severus’
slender arms tighten around him protectively. “It’s ok, love…it’s been building
up for a while. Basically since I started going to Hogwarts and hung out with
all of you,” he said softly as he ran his fingers through Severus’ hair again.
“Is it…because I’m a boy and a Slytherin?” Snape asked
quietly after a few moments of cuddling.
Snorting, Sirius leaned back and brought Severus’ face up.
“No….not all of it. They almost liked you because you are a ‘pure blood’.” He
sighed softly and looked away. “Blood…what does that have to do with a person’s
worth? Remus…Lily….Evie…they are all as good hearted as you and they aren’t
pure. I just don’t understand…” he whispered sadly, eyes filled with sorrow.
He started as he felt a gentle hand cup his cheek and wipe
his tears when he looked into his love’s face. “Don’t worry about it, Sirius.
You have us. You…have me,” Snape whispered softly, smiling gently.
Smiling back, Sirius nodded and snuggled close, kissing
Severus lovingly. “Aye…that I do. And I couldn’t be more blessed,” he declared
softly, and then settled down. They both curled against each other, holding the
other as they fell asleep, but a thought was formed in Snape’s mind, growing
steadily. Pure blood…is better than tainted….
*~~**~~*
The school year came up quickly once more and they all went
back to their normal routine. But, as the year progressed, they slowly started
not fighting as much, though, surprisingly, James and Severus fought here and
there. It was unnerving to say the least in that…it looked very realistic. But
the normal pranks and studying came in handy and the guys found themselves
helping the girls as much as they could.
Surprisingly though, Evie and Lily didn’t need as much help
as always, so Sirius and James could focus more on their Quidditch, while Sev
and Remus, along with Pettigrew, focused on their studies. Things went fairly
smoothly.
But, it ended harshly on Halloween for a brief period.
Lucius, suspecting Remus and Evie ever since the Shrieking Shack incident with
Snape two and a half years past, decided to see if he was right. He pressured
Severus to tell him what had happened, hexing him here and there to get what he
wanted.
Severus tried resisting, saying it was something else,
desperately trying to protect his dearest friends while still looking loyal. But
he suddenly couldn’t fight any longer, a dark loathing within him rising up
suddenly at the thought, ‘Why aren’t they here protecting me?!’
‘Because….they aren’t really your friends. Half-breeds
never help those that aren’t of their kind,’ a nasty, sinister voice hissed in
his mind, coiling around the anger that came from that as Lucius’ sweet words
continued to try and get him to tell.
‘No! You’re wrong!! They care for me…as I care for them!
I’m protecting them so we can always be together!’ he protested to the voice,
finding strength to fight it.
‘Would they….help you?’ the voice hissed out in wonder,
chuckling evilly.
Severus’ eyes widened and finally, he couldn’t fight it any
longer. They weren’t there, protecting him from his classmates and fellow Death
eater, Lucius. Not even Sirius, whom he had conveniently forgotten was waiting
for him in the Prefect’s Bathroom for a prearranged private time. His hatred was
fueled, as all of the fights and past teasing were revealed in a different
light…malicious, nasty, and hurtful.
A part of him screamed that this wasn’t what his friends
and love would ever do…that it was planned and not meant! But the rest of him
was filled with dark delight at how he could get back at them, the sibilant
voice encouraging him fully.
He drew himself up and smirked at Lucius, who grinned in
triumph. “If you wish to get what you want, send them essence of silver on
Halloween. You will get what you want if you are ready,” he sneered out, then
walked out. But, once outside, he found himself face to face with Dumbledore and
stopped. He trembled then, his eyes wide as he realized what it was he had just
done.
“Mr. Snape….may I have a word with you please?”
Dumbledore’s voice was soft, yet serious, his eyes gentle with encouragement.
Severus nodded, his mouth dry with the horror of what he might have just done to
his beloved friends. They went to the Headmaster’s office and sat down, solemnly
gazing at each other. Dumbledore folded his hands before him and gazed steadily
at the young sixth year Slytherin. “Some concerns have come to my attention
about your recent behavior, Mr. Snape…as well as to the ones you care for,” he
stated softly, smiling slightly at Severus’ startled look.
“You…know? Ab-bout me and…S-sirius?” Severus stuttered out,
terrified. Were they going to get expelled?! No! What about Sirius!? He was
startled from his terrified musings as Dumbledore chuckled softly.
“I am actually very happy for you both, Mr. Snape. In fact,
I hope that it blooms even more and steadies you both,” Dumbledore replied with
a soft smile as Severus relaxed, sighing in relief. But, Dumbledore’s face
didn’t stay light as he continued. “But…I am worried about you, Severus. Is
there…something you wish to tell me?” he asked quietly, tilting his head in a
querying way.
‘So much it hurts…’ Severus thought as he clenched his
teeth and looked down, feeling tears in his eyes. He’d been lying more and more
to Sirius, using special charms on his mark, hiding it. Making excuses when
summoned by the Dark Lord….he felt himself breaking more and more. Now…with this
final betrayal of his friends and love…
He closed his eyes tightly and suddenly was talking about
everything that had happened in the past couple of years. Dumbledore was silent
as he listened to Severus’ tale, feeling a grimness enter him as his
realizations were coming to pass. Finally, as Severus haltingly told of what
he’d just done, Dumbledore sighed softly and rubbed his eyes behind his
half-moon spectacles. “Severus….you have gone through so much….” he murmured
quietly as the youth’s voice trailed off.
“What…can I do? If Lucius does that then…” Severus trailed
off, biting his lip as he felt the first prick of tears. He blinked them back,
straightening up. Pride prevented those tears.
“I will give a little warning to them so that they may be
cautious…but I pray I am in time,” Dumbledore replied softly as he stood up. He
moved over to the miserable looking Slytherin and knelt before him, placing his
hands gently on the too thin shoulders. “Severus… I would like to offer you
something that you may think on, but it will help you. I can not get rid of the
Dark Mark. You have made your choice in that matter. However….” Dumbledore
trailed off as he gazed at the slightly apprehensive yet hope-filled youth. He
took a steeling breath, knowing that if he made this offer and Severus took it,
he had just made it that much harder on the youth. But…
“However….you may be able to help me in that, you could
become a spy for me in Voldemort’s dealings,” he offered finally, smiling
slightly at the flinch that Severus gave at Voldemort’s name. Straightening up,
the old wizard gazed down at the now trembling Slytherin. “You don’t have to,
but…now that I know, I would suggest that you focus on your Occlumency if you
don’t wish Voldemort to see you telling me. Think on it heavily, Severus. I will
not push you,” he added softly, almost sounding tired.
Severus nodded and looked down, swallowing hard. This would
be a way to redeem himself, but he would have to keep it silent. He didn’t even
want to think on how Sirius would react if he knew that he was dating a Death
eater. He nearly jumped as a hand was placed on his shoulder and looked up into
Dumbledore’s gently twinkling eyes. “You will find that love can overcome any
obstacle, Severus. Keep that in mind. Now…you best head for bed. It will be a
long day tomorrow,” Dumbledore suggested gently before sitting down behind his
desk.
Numbly, Severus nodded and got up, heading downstairs
towards the Slytherin common room. He stopped as he rounded a corner and came
upon a most interesting sight. Evie was sitting on a bench, talking amiably with
Peeves, the local poltergeist that had a tendency to drive everyone batty with
his pranks.
“No no, Mr. Peeves! That’s not how you do that little
trick!” Evie cried with a giggle and Peeves grinned playfully, his head snuggled
on her lap.
“But that it is indeed! You make them think that they are
sleeping and then, BAM! Into the wall!” Peeves exclaimed, laughing in amusement.
Severus blinked in surprise at the light and carefree sound. He’d never heard
Peeves sound so…alive…in a dead sort of way…
Evie laughed lightly and ‘pet’ him lightly (aka, her hand
moved through his head in a petting motion). “Oh Mr. Peeves…you are so funny….”
she replied with a grin, then looked up, smiling brightly. “Sev! There you are!!
Oh we were so worried!” she cried happily as she got up. Peeves blew a raspberry
at Severus as the young Slytherin came over and Evie frowned unhappily. “Please
don’t do that, Mr. Peeves! Not to Severus! He’s my good friend!”
Snape frowned darkly as Peeves glanced at him in curiosity
before looking at Evie. “Like Potty face and Black head and Lily?” he asked as
he floated around.
Evie smiled brightly. “Uhhuh! Like them! But…” She leaned
in and whispered. “Please don’t tell anyone, Mr. Peeves. We want it a secret
because of the mean kids here.” She smiled softly, her eyes pleading.
Peeves gazed at her steadily for a minute, glancing at
Snape here and there as the Slytherin frowned in obvious disbelief. Peeves
shrugged then and spun around. “Oh all right….I won’t tell. Promise,” he
declared with a melodramatic sigh.
Laughing happily, Evie clapped her hands and Peeves bowed.
The ghost smirked at a stunned Snape, then looked at Evie as she leaned in and
whispered something swiftly. Laughing in delight, Peeves floated off, waving
good-bye as he disappeared to ‘do some mischief’. Snape came over to her, then
grunted as she hugged him tightly. “When did you two become friends?” he asked
somewhat gruffly, but smiled as he rubbed her back.
Evie smirked up at him. “We’ve been friends for a while. I
guess I’m the only one he won’t prank and actually really listens to outside of
the Bloody Baron,” she stated with an innocent giggle. She looked sad then. “He
and I are a lot alike. We talk about a lot of things too. He’s a really good
listener when he wants to be. And he does keep his promises,” she said with a
smirk as she saw his skeptical glance.
Snape felt his heart shiver at what he had almost done and
held her again tightly. She snuggled him, sighing happily, and then murmured
softly, “Sirius was so worried when you didn’t show up! We all looked around,
but looks like I got sidetracked! Good thing though.” She giggled, then laughed
as he tickled her.
They headed back and Severus requested softly when they
were parting ways. “Tell Sirius I’m sorry. I forgot and I had something come up.
I’ll see you both tomorrow, ok?” Evie nodded and smiled, then accepted his kiss
on the cheek with a grin before returning the favor and running off for the
Gryffindor common room. Severus watched her go with a sick feeling. ‘I should
have said something…but I don’t know what will happen. I just hope that
Dumbledore will do something to protect them,’ he thought, then went to the
Slytherin common room.
TBC
