This fic was inspired by the talents of Shinigami’s Little Silencer. The poem was written by her and with her permission, I wrote the fic it inspired. *glomps Silencer* I’m so proud of you!!

Title: Prove My Love

Author: Deathangelgw

Disclaimer: These bois aren’t mine. They belong to other weirdoes…I mean people. Hehe…The poem belongs to Silencer. No sue or steal!

Warnings: AU, OOC, Duo POV, sap, yaoi hints, and angst

Rating: R for hinted sexual scenes

Pairing: 1x2, 1+2, 2+4, 5x4x5

Note: I think I did the note at the beginning…so no more notes…hehe

Feedback: Much loved and appreciated.

/lyrics of the poem/

/How many days with the sun blinding our lives must I wait?
How many tears must fall in the smooth water of my sanity /

I look at you as you work on Wing Zero. You seem so cold…so dark. So empty. I always wondered what was going on in your mind, but I never wanted to truly find out. Afraid, you might ask. Yes. I am. Afraid that what I might find out might not be what I am seeing.

This war is such a curse. We always have to fight. I swear that you must love fighting, love the thrill of battle. I do sometimes enjoy it, but not to that point. Sometimes, I just wish it could all end. So many deaths. So many tears. So many scars on our souls. Will we ever be able to find true happiness?

/Before I give up
Before I stop myself?/

I think you must feel the same way. You came to me one night and we did find something. Was it love? Was it lust? Or was it just our souls’ last hope for an anchor in this insane world? I know not what that night or the following nights meant, but I know that I felt something later on. I won’t call it love. I dare not. If it is love, then let us hope that we can live through this war in order to find out.

But, I do know this. Whenever we did turn to each other for release, it was indeed as if we could shut out the war. And I did see a part of you that I want to see…over and over again.

/How many skies must this broken angel plummet from
Before he soars into heaven.../

So many thoughts go through my mind as I look at you, wondering what you feel…if you feel. Do you feel a sense of completion when we are one? Or is it only just about sex? I often wonder myself what it is I should be feeling. Fairytale dreams of falling in love forever are what fill my mind sometimes when I think of you. But then reality hits and I realize that fairytales aren’t always what can come of things. That we can find comfort in each other’s arms is what is our anchor.

But, as I see the war coming to an end, I wonder so often. What will become of what we have? Will we finally admit that what we did was more for love, and not just for lust? That we need each other now more than ever? That the only way that we can move on is too finally say what our souls are saying… "I love you."

/And how many times must I love you
Before you kill me./

I once said that to the mirror, thinking of you. I whispered it softly; hoping that fate did not hear me. Fate is so cruel. Love is given and taken away from those who dare to love by fate. I have lost many that I loved. I dare not even admit it to myself.

What of you, Heero? Do you know what love is? Or are you like me, loath to even admit that you might feel something for another human being? Yes, Heero. I know that you are human. I look into your eyes and see the light of a soul within them as you make love to me. I feel your warmth as you caress the fires of passion alive within me. I feel the passion as you release yourself inside of me, crying out my name. What has become of us, Heero? Dare we love what might be taken away?

/Too many lies, too many times
I've tried to heal you/

You always say that you are the Perfect Soldier. I am tempted to agree. You are indeed a man not to trifle with on the battlefield. But, does not even a soldier need someone to hold onto? I think you know this. You must…why else are we together? I only hope that once this war is over with, we may be able to be together.

Or, is there another? I know of Relena. Is she the one meant for you? Is what we have truly just a release for each other? All these questions… and yet I hide from asking them. "Why?" you might one day ask of me. Why ask what might not be real? I’ve loved before, Heero. And I’ve lost. Why ask what might be taken within a moment of time?

/With a word or two of love and devotion...
And always you turn away./

The end of the war. I close my eyes in relief and happiness. Finally…it is over. But, what now? I look around at the party that is being held by Quatre and I don’t see you anywhere. I guess that what we knew truly was nothing more. I am glad I didn’t think on it more, but my soul laughs at my mind. ‘You fool. Did you think that love wouldn’t take you back into her warm arms?’ it says, and I know that it is right. Love, it did indeed take my heart. But it must not have taken yours.

Are you with Relena, then? Heero, I hope you are happy. I look out the window, enjoying the stars for once. So beautiful, so clear, so safe. I know that I must return to space then and there.

/What do I have to do
To prove the river I cry/

I stay for a few days with Quatre. It is funny, but he and Wufei are now together. I smile every time I see them, for they are happy. It is saddening though, for I also see you and me together. How many times did we just hold each other after our lovemaking? Did I not show you what the stars were to us? Did we not see the true path of peace coming? Was everything we felt a lie?

No, I don’t believe it was. I never lie, to myself or to others. But how can I move on when all I want is for you to hold me? Now, I shall never know just what you meant to me…or what I meant to you.

/Is not for sympathy
But for love of the man I'll never meet again?/

Heero, if we ever meet again, I know that I shall be your friend. But, will it be the same? We did so much. Shall I change what my soul felt? I don’t know how. How can I show you what you mean to me? Dare I even try? Will you turn your back on me again, like you would every time I tried to find out more about you? I hang my head as I travel in the shuttle to space, hiding the tears that threaten to flow. Why must love do this to me? Show me the one, and then take him away from me. I know now that what I had said was true. Never say you love someone for you will lose them.

/What do I have to do
To keep this man/

I work on L2 now, with Hilde. She is a sweet friend and I am happy to know she has someone. No, I am glad to say that it isn’t me. She knows how I am and was happy enough just to be a friend. She takes care of me so well. I just wish…but I stop that line of thought.

I look out the window and watch as a young bird takes to wing for the first time. I smile and then think to send my wishes to the stars, hoping that one day I will find the one who haunts my dreams…my soul. I didn’t even hear the door open and suddenly warm arms wrap around me. I look over and see myself drowning in your beautiful eyes.

/And prove my love
To you?/

"Heero," I whisper and you smile. Your lips…they are so warm as they press to mine. I know then that we will be together. And my soul is glad.

Owari

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