Title: Unobserved
Author: Deathangelgw
Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys….just use them for my own
pleasure and such…yea.
Warnings: PWP, AU, Heero POV, OOC, slight language,
shounen-ai, yaoi implied, angst, sap, dark.
Rating: PG
Pairings: implied 2x5, 2xH, 2x/+3, 1+2
Note: well…this kinda hit me and such and even though I
said I wasn’t doing anything with 1x2x1, well…it had to be written.
Feedback: sure go ahead….
I watch you leave our apartment again, showing nothing as
you wave cheerfully at me. Going out over to Trowa’s again, hm? I find myself
sighing in a mixture of feelings. Feelings that only you seem to bring out in
me. Why is that? Is it concern for you? Is it jealousy? Is it both? Who knows.
I stare up at the ceiling and once again try to figure out
this whole mess. After the war, we had moved in together, whether for friendship
or just financial stability I don’t know. We had to work around each other for
the first month or so, both of us so used to being on our own that it was
strange. But….we worked it out.
I can feel myself smirking at the memory of all the times
you had tried to get me to talk to you. Anything and everything seemed to please
you, so long as I was talking. You tried to get me to talk about my past…about
whatever’s bothering me….but I don’t think you understand me even after all this
time. I don’t talk.
I find myself picking at the comforter of my bed. You had
given it to me for my birthday, though how you found that piece of information
out is a mystery to me. Sighing again, I try to figure out what is really
bothering me.
Thinking back, I remember what had happened with you and
Hilde. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to work out, but I stayed out of it,
knowing you’d probably figure it out. Unfortunately, it was too late by the time
you did. I remember consoling you as best I could, my own heart breaking at your
tears of being used. Then….a year later, you and Wufei hooked up and I knew it
was going to be a repeat. But, again, I sat back and waited for you to get a
clue. Why didn’t you get a clue?? Why did you have to let yourself be used and
thrown away? Didn’t the last time give you any inkling on what to be careful of?
Guess not.
You had cried so hard when Wufei had broken up with you and
again, all I could do was comfort you. Being used for sex is something that I
had tried to warn you on. But I guess some things are learned the hard way.
Or are they? You still haven’t learned. Two days after
Trowa and Quatre had broken up, you and he started dating. Duo, don’t you ever
learn?! I find myself clutching my pillow in a rare show of anger as I remember
you admitting you two had already slept together. Five days….FIVE DAYS!! WHY
CAN’T YOU LEARN!?
But…I stay silent. I don’t interfere. I don’t know why I’m
so protective of you. Maybe it’s because of all the kindness you have shown me
that I want nothing but the best for you. So why do you constantly open yourself
up to hurt? Didn’t you realize after the last time that if you had waited and
gotten to know that person you would have seen the true intentions of that
person? No one falls in love or into bed that fast and expects a lasting
relationship. You say you two just ‘clicked.’ Fuck that. I don’t care how much
you clicked; you don’t love someone and give a piece of yourself that fast. Love
at first sight happens, yes. Yes I do believe in that. I believed it when I met
all four of you. But especially you. But you can’t expect that to last when it
is just for the physical.
Frustration seems to be my partner recently when I’m
dealing with you. You just don’t get it. You’re so desperate to fill that
emptiness inside that you give yourself to whoever is willing to take advantage
of you. Do you know how much it hurts for me to see you being used for sex once
again? No, you don’t. I don’t think I hide it all that well, but you are so lost
in finally having something to cling to that you don’t even realize the people
closest to you. The ones who ‘really’ know you. You might say I’m being like a
‘mother-hen’, but when you yourself fail to realize that you are repeating
history again….how can I not?
I won’t interfere. I refuse to. You have to make your own
choices. But tell me…when you fall again, who do you expect to catch you once
more?
The ground is cold. Learn from it.
OWARI
