Chapter Eight

'thoughts'

The soft clink of china hitting china floated around the room as Lex took a sip of his coffee before putting it back down while reading the newspaper. His eyes scanned over the various investments he had before he turned to the more breaking news. He smirked as he noted that the police were still investigating the death of Derek, but since he, Dean, and Sam had been cleared of the charges, they were out of the picture, much to the media’s disappointment. He was actually rather glad that he’d been able to cover for the two brothers since they’d saved his life...again. He wondered briefly if he had a damsel-in-distress complex and chuckled before shaking his head in amusement at his thoughts.

He looked up as he heard shifting and smiled warmly as Sam entered into the room with hair mussed up from sleep, face scowling a bit from just having woken up, and a hand scratching a very well toned stomach under the baggy grey t-shirt just above the faded flannel boxers he was wearing. “Sleep well?” Lex asked with a chuckle and Sam grunted as he sat down next to Lex. “Did Dean come back at all?”

“No. I left him a couple of voice messages, but I don’t think he was hurt or anything. I’m just kinda...worried,” Sam muttered while reaching for a piece of toast, which he buttered and slathered strawberry jam all over. He took a bite and munched on it before reaching over casually and grabbing the free sections of newspaper.

“I could have him found,” Lex suggested as he watched Sam chew before the younger man took a gulp of his coffee.

“You’d be dead upon his arrival. Don’t worry...if he doesn’t come home within another day, I’ll start searching for him,” Sam replied after swallowing and grinned at Lex.

“Just ask...I want to help, Sam,” Lex murmured and smiled when Sam grinned lopsidedly at him. They went back to eating and perusing the newspaper as a comfortable silence fell over them. Lex had been released later the other day when he’d woken up with nothing more than a minor headache from his head trauma. Sam had doted on him for the day subtly, which had both amused and touched Lex. Not many had ever doted on him out of true concern, but Sam had. It was a strange sensation to know that there were no other strings attached outside of slight guilt for not having been able to protect Lex and he wasn’t sure how quite to react to it. But all he knew was that he felt happy and at home with Sam around. He just wished that there wasn’t a feeling of it coming to an end soon hanging over them.

Sam got up after a while to clean up and change before returning freshly washed and in a clean set of worn jeans and a comfy shirt. Lex grinned at him as he typed at his laptop before refocusing on his research, though he saw Sam start perusing the books along the wall out of the corner of his eye. He tried not to watch how Sam would touch every book spine with a single long finger, reading the fading words along it as reverently as if the books held the secrets to everything in his life. Perhaps they did, perhaps they didn’t. Either way, it was an incredibly sensual thing to watch.

Abandoning his research, Lex stood up silently and walked over to Sam’s side as Sam examined one of the daggers that were on display next to a bust of an Egyptian goddess. “They’re ancient Incan sacrificial daggers, the only two that had been found intact at an archeological dig about ten years ago. They say that, before they did the sacrifice, the priest would dip the blades in the victim’s chest, letting the blade taste the blood, so to speak. It was said that the blade would then be in tune to the sacrifice’s spirit and, when it finally took the life of the victim, the spirit would be trapped within the blade. Later, the blood would then be poured from the blade onto the altar in the temple so that their prayers would fly to the sun god from there,” he explained softly and smiled up at Sam when the other man looked at him in appreciation. “I enjoyed studying ancient cultures and their ways of life. Especially the warrior cultures. You can learn a lot about controlling situations from history.”

“Very true, but sometimes that history is also there as a warning to not repeat what was done in the past, for the consequences are far greater than you might expect,” Sam responded quietly as he gazed intently at Lex, seemingly unable to look away as the other man's warmth seeped into his body. "And sometimes, the history is a guide to what the future will be."

Smiling slowly, Lex 'hmm'ed quietly as he reached for the other dagger. He lifted it up before looking it over leisurely as the light glinted over it and reflected off of their faces. He glanced up at Sam and cocked an eyebrow and grinned, which Sam mirrored. "You like history?" he asked quietly before he placed the dagger back on its stand.

Chuckling a bit, Sam shrugged. "Well, considering that studying history usually saves our lives daily, I better, ya know?" he replied with a sheepish grin and Lex chuckled as well, which sent a shiver of warmth through Sam. Sam quickly put the dagger he held back on its stand and turned to look at the other books and items, trying to pull away from the want that had gone through him at the moment. "You've got a lot of artifacts and very old books here. Hobby?" he asked nervously before smiling over at Lex.

Somewhat confused with Sam's reaction and his own actions, though he didn't want to admit it, Lex cocked an eyebrow as he moved closer to Sam. "I like to study those times and my father always had asserted that learning about it would lead to me being a good leader," he clarified as he brushed close to Sam as he reached for his copy of 'The Iliad'. He swallowed hard as he felt Sam hold his breath and turned to find himself close to Sam. He looked up a bit as Sam's fingers wrapped around his on the book. "This one always made me sad, especially when Achilles lost his beloved Patroclus. His need for vengeance fueled his fighting spirit, yet was his downfall for, in his arrogance, he was struck down by the gods out of their own revenge with Hector's death," he whispered and held his breath as Sam started to lean in little by little. His eyes closed as Sam's breath brushed over his face as they became closer with every second.

Suddenly, a shrill ringing broke through the spell that had fallen over them and Sam pulled back and dug his cell phone out of his pants' pocket hastily. He flipped it open and stepped away after checking the ID to see that it was Dean. “Where are you?”

“Mmm um...safe. I had to check out something I’d seen the other day and...kinda got distracted. But I’m ok,” Dean replied and Sam frowned as he heard what sounded like cloth shifting and a quiet chuckle over the other line. “So, enjoying your domesticity with dear old Lexy-poo?” he asked in amusement, which distracted Sam from his unsettling observation.

“We’re just hanging out, wondering what you got your sorry ass into,” Sam answered stiffly as he leaned against the railing of the stairs leading up to the book shelving that was on the second level. He noticed that Lex was watching him curiously and smiled a bit before wrapping his arm around his waist. “So are you coming back?” he inquired and frowned again as he heard some more shifting and a soft, low question in the background. Was that...a guy?! Had his brother slept with a guy!?

Dean was quiet for a bit as he spoke with whoever he was with and Sam was ready to hang up on him when Dean answered. “Yea later tonight. We can take care of that dam and then go to the last site tomorrow night. How’s Lex?”

“He’s fine.” Sam became silent as he studied his shoes. “Are you with someone?” he asked lowly and felt his breath hitch when he heard Dean move.

“Yea, why?” Dean questioned defensively and Sam knew that it was a guy.

“Just curious,” Sam murmured before straightening up and going over towards Lex. “I’ll tell Lex the plan for tonight. You just...be careful.”

“Back at you, little brother,” Dean replied gruffly before they hung up.

Sighing, Sam stared at his phone before looking up to see Lex standing nearby. “Everything ok?” Lex asked as he played with the cover of the book he held in his hand.

Flipping the phone a couple of times in his hand, Sam shrugged mulishly before straightening up and walking towards Lex as he put his phone back into his pocket. “He was with someone...I was kind of hoping that he’d stopped sleeping around with everything that had a good pair of tits,” he remarked grumpily, but then sighed again. He looked up as a hand gripped his shoulder comfortingly and smiled sadly at Lex. “Sorry...don’t mind me.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Lex asked instead as he tilted his head a bit and squeezed the younger man’s shoulder. He could tell that, whatever was bothering Sam, it was something that he had almost given up hope on. He watched as Sam went to one of the leather couches and sank into its plush cushions with a soft squishing sound as the leather creaked quietly.

Placing his head in his hands, Sam found himself struggling not to cry as everything overwhelmed him suddenly. He took a deep steadying breath and released it shakily as he felt the couch dip with Lex's weight. He felt comforted by the other man's presence and it calmed him just a bit and helped him to swallow back the helpless tears that had risen up at the situation he found himself in with his brother. It also gave him the confidence to finally confess what had been plaguing him for the past year. "When I was six months old, a demon came to our house, pinned my mother to the ceiling of my nursery, and slit her stomach open before burning her. That same demon did something to me...shared his blood with me. I ended up with psychic powers, nightmares and visions of people dying. I saw..." He stopped and swallowed as the image of Jess burning on the ceiling flashed before his eyes.

Lex put a hand on Sam's shoulder and smiled encouragingly at Sam when the younger man looked up at him. He didn't say anything and let Sam take strength from him instead as he realized that what was being shared was something that went very deep into Sam's heart. He was honored at the trust and honesty that was being shared with him and hoped that he could do something to help, even if it might be something that was way out of his league.

The gentle encouragement in that single touch gave Sam all of the reassurance that he needed to continue. "I saw my girlfriend die weeks before it actually happened the same way that my mom had died. This demon had been after me, getting me to hone my hunting skills so that when he finally took me to some demon version of boot camp in South Dakota about a year ago, he thought I'd win. But this guy named Jake killed me by stabbing me in the back and slicing clean through my spinal cord." He looked up as he heard Lex's intake of breath and smirked at him. "I know. I should be six feet under, but my brother made a deal with a crossroads demon to bring me back. In exchange, he had one year left to live." He took another shaky breath as he turned his gaze to his hands as he coughed a bit on a laugh. "Yea, I wasn't too thrilled with him, but we've been busy dealing with the aftermath of getting rid of the demons that had been released from a Hell's Gate that had opened in Wyoming last year at around this time. We managed to kill the demon that had killed our parents, but..." He pinched the bridge of his nose as his tears returned almost immediately. "Dean's all I got. And he had to go and *sacrifice* himself to save me and I...I..." He stopped talking as he put his head into his hands as a small shudder went through his body. "I don't know what to do anymore," he finally whispered thickly as he curled up and rested his face in his knees.

He didn't move as Lex shifted closer and wrapped an arm around his back, holding him as he cried quietly, helpless to stop the tears that were finally flushing out since his walls had become weakened in his friend's presence. After a few minutes, he calmed down and sat up, then unconsciously leaned into Lex's hold as he sniffled and wiped at his face. He swallowed and sighed loudly as he looked up at the vaulted ceiling even as a couple more tears rolled down his face. He blinked as they were wiped away by gentle fingers and glanced over into Lex's eyes, which were soft with understanding and sadness. He let himself be guided so that his face was buried in Lex's shoulder and relaxed into Lex's hold. He wrapped his arms around the older man as Lex rubbed his back in slow circles.

They shifted slowly so that they were lying out on the couch on their sides and Sam found himself dozing off out of exhaustion from his emotional release. Lex just watched him with a small smile, just enjoying the feelings of trust and something more that he didn't dare look into too much lest he be disappointed. But he found himself almost hoping that Sam would see in him the part of him that no one seemed to believe was within.

He must have dozed off as well because the next thing he knew he felt a pair of eyes on him and looked over to find Dean in the opposite couch watching them with a semi-grin on his face that hid the concern there a bit. Rolling his eyes, Lex grunted and tried to move a bit, but Sam was wrapped around him fairly tight. He looked over as he heard a snicker and glared at Dean slightly. He cocked an eyebrow expectantly, but Dean's grin just grew larger.

"Oh don't mind me. I'm enjoying this little cuddle fest show," Dean commented lazily and Lex rolled his eyes.

"Well it's about time you got back. Sam was getting pretty worried about you," Lex reprimanded Dean as he brushed his fingers through Sam's hair. He looked over as he heard another snicker and rolled his eyes again. "What?"

"Oh, that's just so cute. I need a picture," Dean replied with a snicker.

"Shut up, man," Sam grumbled sleepily as he stretched a bit before snuggling into Lex more. He flicked his brother off when Dean chuckled again at their cuddling.

"Does he always get this cuddly?" Lex asked in exasperation, though Dean was relieved to see the affection in the light blue eyes.

"Yea. Even as a kid, he'd be all octopus-like and wrap his arms and legs around me in his sleep. Got real annoying when he had those growth spurts though," Dean answered and snickered as Sam leaned up enough to glare at him. "What?"

"Dude, do you *always* have to share embarrassing stories from my childhood?" Sam asked in irritation and Lex laughed softly. "Oh don't encourage him," Sam growled as he pushed at Lex before sitting up completely and stretching. He winced as his spine popped a bit before he resettled himself. He tilted his head as he noticed that Dean was slouching more than usual. "So, care to explain?"

"Nah, rather not. Shall we get out to that dam?" Dean responded with a smirk before pushing himself up off of the couch. It wouldn't take them long to bless the lake and then exorcise any spirits.

"Yea, I guess," Sam agreed quietly before standing up carefully. He smiled over at Lex. "You can stay. This won't take us long. We'll be back in time for dinner," he said and Lex nodded.

"Just be careful. Both of you," Lex requested softly before standing.

"Yea, don't worry about us. We've handled worse than a couple of cranky spirits," Dean drawled as he sauntered out of the room. Sam grinned at Lex and reached over to touch Lex's hand before following his brother out of the room. Lex found himself smiling as he watched them leave. He wasn't worried about them exactly, but he did know that even simple things could go wrong. He wouldn't be able to relax until they had returned, safe and unharmed.

As Sam followed Dean out, he glanced over at the house. "So, who'd you hook up with?" he asked casually before sliding into the car with Dean.

Dean remained silent as he started up the car before heading out towards the route for the dam. After a bit, he finally said, "Someone that, if I'd had more time left, I might have actually settled down with. But...guess that's not happening." He smiled bitterly as he looked over at his brother and Sam felt his chest tighten at the regret he saw in Dean's eyes. If this person really meant that much to Dean, then the unfairness of everything that was happening had just increased to unbearable levels. But the seriousness was broken as Dean slapped Sam on the thigh. "Don't worry about it, Sammy. Just keep your head in the game so you can go back to Lex," he stated jovially and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, man," he retorted as he looked out of his window to Dean's chuckle and couldn't help the grin that slowly spread on his own face. Things might be grim, but he had a feeling that he might have found just a bit of light in the darkness. He just hoped he wasn't misreading things.

They got to the dam just as the sun was setting and parked at the edge of the ruins. Grabbing a couple of sawed offs, rosaries, and the incantation book, they stepped carefully through the debris. They split up and Sam went to the opposite shore while Dean stayed on the side they’d arrived on. They each chanted the blessing over the water while ignoring as the water started churning and glowing a sickly green. Once they had dropped the rosaries in to complete the blessing, the spirits shot out of the water. But, since their bodies were in the water, they couldn't go anywhere as Sam started the exorcism.

Within an hour, they were heading back to the mansion and Sam couldn't help relaxing a bit. Two down...one more to go.

TBC

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